Preggy Blonde

Goodbye Preggy Blonde

2009-06-30T21:12:00.003-05:00

It's time to say goodbye to Preggy Blonde now that my womb is (temporarily) closed for business. Join me over at my new blog: Navigating the Mothership, where I will continue to write about slightly inappropriate things in too much detail.

XXOO,
Preggy Blonde

Sleep...How I Long For You

2009-06-30T11:13:00.004-05:00

Pre-baby, I read about how newborns eat every 2-3 hours and I thought to myself, "Oh, OK, so I'll get to sleep in 2-3 hour stretches".

WRONG. I was so wrong. My reasoning and logic failed me. In case you have the same notion, let me show you the truth. Here's what feeding every 2-3 hours (like the past two nights) actually looks like:

10:30-11 - Breastfeed/Burp/Change
11-11:30 - Convince baby to sleep
11:30-12:30 - Everyone sleeps
12:30-1:10 - Breastfeed/Burp/Change
1:10-2:30 - Convince baby to sleep
2:30-3:30 - Everyone sleeps
3:30-4:00 - Breastfeed/Burp/Change
4:00-4:30 - Convince baby to sleep
4:30-5:30 - Everyone sleeps
5:30-6:10 - Breastfeed/Burp/Change

Let's add up the "Everyone sleeps" time, shall we? It appears that between the hours of 10:30-6 AM, there were only 3 hours of sleep! And notice the extra fun awake time between 12:30-2:30 - this has been happening the past few nights.

IT'S CRAZY MAKING, I TELL YOU!

I'm doing all the middle of the night feedings this week as it's Husband's first week in his new position and we didn't want his new co-workers think he was some sort of gross, crabby person. This way, all the gross and crabby can be contained in the family home and exposed only to the cats.

Moms - How do I get Bella to go back to sleep faster during the night? Any magic tricks out there? We currently use swaddling, white noise, and lay her on our chests and jiggle her as our main go-to techniques.

One Month Letter

2009-06-27T19:44:00.006-05:00

In the style of Dooce's monthly letters to her daughter Leta...

Dear Bella,

How is it that you are a month old today?

Time has never been as crazy as it has been over the past month, starting with your birth. Take the pushing for example; while it only took a little over an hour in real time, it felt like it took two years. Time has turned slippery on me as we move through the days. We are so busy, but I'm not sure what exactly keeps us so busy. All I know is that hours slip by without me noticing. In fact, I've even become one of those moms who forgets to eat. ME! I never thought it could happen. When I used to hear a mom say that, I would think, "Pffft! Whatever. How do you forget to eat?". Yet one day I noticed I was starving for lunch and after consulting a clock I discovered it was 3:30 in the afternoon. I hadn't eaten since 9:30 AM. Quite honestly, I can recall one other time in my life where I "forgot" to eat. It just doesn't (didn't) happen to me. A baby really does change things.

Speaking of how you have changed things, I have to admit that I wasn't prepared for how much you would change our life. I see pregnant women on the street and, assuming they are first time moms, I think to myself, "Oh...you just don't know what you're in for." This is a completely obnoxious thought on my part, as that sort of comment drove me insane prior to your arrival. But it's true. How can a person know until they are in it? And, whoa baby, are we in the thick of it.

But we are figuring things out and are settling into something of a routine. You are sleeping decently some nights (4 hour stretches) which makes up for the nights you don't sleep so well (2 hour stretches with up to 2 hours awake in between each sleep period). As far as me feeding you, we seem to have gotten the hang of it. Unfortunately, you have extended the ban of me consuming caffeine indefinitely, which I have to say I'm really, really devastated about. It seems you take after your father when it comes to your inability to tolerate caffeine. Other than that, you seem able to handle everything else just fine - onions, garlic, dairy, broccoli, and chocolate don't seem to cause any problems. You even seem to tolerate my consumption of lentils, although you do become quite the fruity tooty baby after that. Is it wrong that I find it adorable when you have long, loud toots in your sleep?

I'm excited to start interacting more with you and seeing you take in the world around you. Right now the two things that seem to make you happiest are when your daddy does his crazy horse noise and when you are naked on the changing table. What will it be next month? Or in a year? Or in ten?

Anyway, baby, you are already growing and changing so much and we are still just getting to know each other. I suspect I will cry at some point in the next month as I have to fold and put away your newborn clothes. Your daddy and I love to gaze at you as we try to decide who you take after. You seem to have my nose and mouth and your daddy's chin. Your eyes are blue right now, but that might change. Your hair seems to be getting lighter and the front has mostly fallen out, creating quite the baby mullet. Your ears, with their funny little dent along the outside are a mystery. Perhaps there is some second cousin in India or on Staten Island with the same ears? I can't help but marvel at the wonder of genetics. To see the genetic result of combining your father and I is just amazing. Look baby, you have turned me terribly cheesy and cliched.

You really have changed it all.

Love,
Your Mama

[Papa P.S. - Bella, I feel so fortunate. Your presence in our lives has truly inspired me to be the best man I can be. While I know that I will let you down at times, fall short of being as patient as I want to be, etc. there will never be a day that I'm not trying my hardest to find the true meaning of unconditional love with you and your Mom and any brothers or sisters that you might have in the future.

As my time with you, free from the distractions and obligations of work life, comes to an end, I am deeply saddened that I will miss stretches of your rapidly changing life but please always know that this sacrifice is necessary and that your Mom and I are so happy and realize how fortunate we are that at least one of us won't have to. You are such an incredible gift and, just as I've feared, I've fallen deeper and deeper in love with the security of our family. Why fear? Because I don't necessarily know how to how else to feel about something that means so much to me and that I'm truly dependent upon for my happiness. With all of my love...forever.]

Aerodynamically I'm a Mess

2009-06-26T15:41:00.003-05:00

There is a line from a song that Bette Midler sang in Beaches that keeps popping into my head. And no, it has nothing to do with eagles or the wind. Nope, it's the line: Aerodynamically this girl was a mess.

Ah yes, good old Otto Titsling, who if you recall, invented the titsling after seeing a damsel in distress:

One night at the opera he saw an Aida
whose bust so big they would often impede her.
Bug-eyed he watched her fall into the pit,
done in by the weight of those terrible tits.

Oh, my god! There she blows!
Aerodynamically this girl was a mess.

I can sooooo relate to the woes of this Aida. In fact, the one body part I'm most looking forward to shrinking with weight loss is my boobs. Stomach and thighs, yes, those need some shrinkage, too, but the boobs. Oh, the boobs. They're killing my back and I can't fathom how I'm going to be able to harness them once I start running again. Plus, I'm getting increased unwanted attention from the creepy members of the male species. I was even called "Shorty" the other day. Me. Called Shorty. I'm nearly 5'9". Oy.

So any good recommendations for industrial strength sports bras?

And, more importantly, do you buy a titsling or do you buy a brassiere?

Proof

2009-06-23T17:43:00.002-05:00

Look - she does grin! Bonus features include Husband's crazy horse noises. Neigh!

Baby Grins from Bella's Mama on Vimeo.

Pump it Up

2009-06-23T15:23:00.007-05:00

I am feeling really good right now about my stay-at-home mom gig. I felt all proud of myself and content as Bella and I walked home from the grocery store this morning thinking I can do this and even better I like this. Whew. I had been waiting on the "I like this" feeling for a while.

One BIG reason I was so chipper this morning?

Bella is now taking bottles of pumped breast milk. Huzzah! Husband did the 1:30 AM feeding last night, which meant I was able to sleep from 11 PM - 4:45 AM. Heaven, I tell ya.

I had been a little nervous about the whole bottle introduction thing, lest she suddenly go on an anti-boob strike leaving me stuck pumping for the next year (AKA nipple confusion, a hotly debated topic among pediatricians and lactation consultants). I was also concerned that she wouldn't take the bottle, leaving me stuck breastfeeding only for the next year. But all those worries were for naught. She's a bottle drinking champion who is still willing to get most of her drinking via the boob.

The best part is that Husband is going to take over one of the nighttime feedings indefinitely. Oh, that Husband o'mine. Swoony McSwoonertons.

But in order to get the milk for the bottles, I have to start spending quality time with Mr. Pump (Medela Pump In Style to be specific). Pumping is a weird, weird thing. WEIRD. And you would think that milk would come out all neatly out of one spot in the middle of your nipple, but no, it comes out of a few different places. Again, WEIRD. And also - nipples! Ew. Nipples still give me the heebie jeebies. They always have, but I figured that would go away once I started breastfeeding. Nope. Nipples are still hella creepy to me, perhaps even more so. The things we do for love...

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-21T20:49:00.002-05:00

Happy Father's Day, to all the proud papas of the world and most especially to this man.

He is the perfect father to Bella and a perfect partner in parenting (and life) for me. Gah - too much love. It causes emotional incontinence and here I am crying again. But this time for happy reasons.

Happy Father's Day, Husband!

3 Weeks, 2 Days

2009-06-19T20:36:00.002-05:00

My gigantic bosom took Bella for a walk to the grocery store this evening. Oh, did I say gigantic bosom? I meant to say Husband and I took Bella for a walk. My mistake.

After cramming the little storage area underneath the stroller beyond it's reasonable capacity with groceries we headed over to the liquor store where I made Husband go inside for wine. We figured the whole baby in the liquor store would be nearly as bad as a baby in a bar so I semi-awkwardly waited out front. I get nervous loitering outside liquor stores ("Officer, I swear, I'm 28!").

On the way home, Bella woke up and it was her first time actually seeing her surroundings from her stroller as prior to tonight she was always either (1) sleeping or (2) desperately crying. The best part was the puzzled look on her face as she looked around. I love that little furrowed brow of hers.

Smiles & Husband's P.S.A.

2009-06-18T19:17:00.006-05:00

Could my baby really be smiling already? It seems too early, but the smiles are at appropriate moments and she does it again and again. Of course, this could be some excellent timing by her bowels and they are just gas grins. On the other hand, she did spend extra time in my Easy Bake Oven/Womb so maybe that time can count towards development? Either way, Husband and I are digging the smiles. It feels so fun to interact with her.

Speaking of Husband, he is SO going to be the embarrassing Dad. Just wait till I tell you what he did yesterday. Let's tell it in play format, a la Scene from a Movie Theater or Scene from a Doctor's Office.

Scene from an Urban Sidewalk
Subtitle: Husband's Public Service Announcement

A man in his mid-thirties is walking his two-week-old newborn girl down the block in her stroller. He passes two younger boys, perhaps around 16 years of age, as they do some landscaping work. The boys look at the man somewhat oddly as he passes by and try to peer into the stroller.

Man (yelling to the boys): Now don't go having sex unless you're ready to have one of these!

The boys look horrified and make "Pshaw" noises.

Man (laughing): Oh, I'm just messing with you.

The boys awkwardly laugh and surely tell all their friends about the crazy bald man with the baby later that day.

[End Scene]

Do you see what I mean? How embarrassing! I hope Bella inherits Husband's lack of feeling embarrassment rather than my heightened sense of it. Otherwise, OY, that girl is going to have some red-faced moments in her future.

Preggy Blonde Does NOT Recommend...Absorbant Materials Edition

2009-06-16T20:05:00.009-05:00

Seventh Generation Chlorine Free Infant Diapers

I had to resort to disposables for a few hours yesterday as I'm still figuring out the timing for washing cloth diapers. Basically, I waited too long and all the cloth diapers were either dirty or in the wash. Oops. So I reached into the closet for the bag of Seventh Generation diapers that I had registered for and received at my baby shower. [Edited to add: Please note that I'm very grateful to have received these as a gift, especially since I wanted them in the first place. I just didn't know what I wanted, it seems!]

Environmentally-friendly consumers take note: These diapers are no good!

They are completely ill-fitting and I found it impossible to get them on Bella without major gaping around the waistband. In fact, the gap in the back was big enough that Bella ended up peeing MY pants yesterday. Hmmm...why is my lap suddenly so warm?

And this should not be a reason to not buy a particular diaper, but...they are not so visually pleasing. The first time I presented Bella to Husband in one of these diapers, he exclaimed, "It looks like she's wearing a moon boot!" Yeah, I agree. These diapers give my baby moon booty.

So in conclusion: DON'T BUY THESE!

Always Pads

Today I met with the midwife (as did Husband and Bella since I'm reluctant to leave Bella behind for two hours at a time given her erratic feeding schedule) and got the bottom situation looked at. The recommendation was the same as it has been since Bella's birth: a couple baths each day and rinsing with a peri bottle when going "potty" (basically a water bottle, and yes, a nurse said "potty" to me today). Is water the cure-all recommendation for all women or just the ones who had natural childbirths? I mean, I like water as much as the next person, but is it really THAT magical? Luckily, things have been slowly improving and should be healed up soon.

One thing the midwife did say was that Always pads seem to be unusually irritating and have caused problems for other women. She said that some of the midwives advise patients to avoid that specific brand. Since I had been using that brand and I ended up with problems, I'm going to avoid them from now on.

My two cents: Down with Always! Bad for the bottom!

[Pretending there is a segue here]

Husband tried to prop Bella up for a little video taping today. I caught it on camera; I call this photo series "Tippy Baby".

2 Weeks, 4 Days

2009-06-14T18:31:00.003-05:00

There has been a lot more of this lately:

Cry Baby from Bella's Mama on Vimeo.

Oy, I'm tired. And as we have already established, tired + hormones + lady bit issues = Preggy Blonde being a cry baby herself. But today was better than yesterday, so that's good. I accomplished things today; things like dishes and laundry and plant watering and errands. As hard as it is to find the motivation to get stuff done, I do feel better after doing it. Must remember that.

Breastfeeding is going much, MUCH more smoothly. The initial pain after she latches on has gone from a ripping-toenails-off level to mild discomfort. This is not only good for me, but good for Husband. He was a casualty of the latching-on pain himself as he would help hold back Bella's arms and hands during the latch-on (she's a handsy one, that girl) and I would involuntarily kick my leg out from the pain, which would strike him right in the shin. Very comedy of errors, but in the not-funny-at-all sense.

I never knew newborns fart. And not just dainty toots, but big, loud brrrrrrts! I rather enjoy it. Much more pleasant than when Husband does it, anyway. I, of course, do not fart.

So you don't think Bella is all stinky poo, she does have her cute and highly lovable moments. Husband took this video footage earlier today and I made a video for the grandparents (who love Bella minutia) but I figured some of you might like it, too. I will not take offense if you find it uber boring; I have to confess that videos of other babies didn't hold much interest for me pre-Bella. Anyway, here she is in all her 2 week, 4 days glory.

Be My Baby from Bella's Mama on Vimeo.

Up and Down

2009-06-13T19:42:00.006-05:00

After the last couple days feeling better, I had another hard day.

Le sigh.

There has been more of the random and intense bursts of sobbing. Husband asked me some question and I started sobbing and told him through my sobs, "I'm OK. Really, I'm OK". The look on his face indicated that he did not so much agree.

This time the problem is stemming from some lady bit trauma. Without going into too much detail, basically all the pad wearing required of a postpartum body has caused some secondary lady bit trauma (I have oh-so-sensitive skin). Talk about insult to injury as I HATE pads. My hatred for pads has now gone from high to all-consuming. I even pre-knew to hate them, even before I got my first period and therefore I opted to use tampons exclusively from the start. Although, really, that early disgust for pads could have been because I ate up all those Tampax ads from the late 80s/early 90s. You know, the ones on the back of Teen and Seventeen where it showed girls in denim shirts and cut-offs sitting outside a camp cabin and had captions like, "Will I still be a virgin if I use a tampon?". Ah...wasn't life more innocent then. Kids these days would have no time for an ad like that.

I went to call the nurse's line to get some lady bit advice, but of course they are staffed during normal business hours only. And I'm only to call the midwife on call if (1) I'm dying or (2) I'm nearly dying. So in the meantime, I have to just try to deal. But what I want is to not be so uncomfortable in my body for one damn minute. I've had months of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin - can't I get a break? Just a tiny one? No? Crap.

Love my baby, just don't love what is required of one's body in order to have the baby love.

Today's mantra: It will get better, It will get better, It will get better...

And now, to make us all feel better after I once again over-shared, here is my cutie getting her bath.

Feeling Better

2009-06-12T08:45:00.003-05:00

I think I'm through the worst of the "baby blues" or whatever the medical community likes to call it. [Baby blues, bottoms...why so cutesy medical community?] Yesterday I simply felt more like myself and was goofing around with Husband in my usual way rather than being all quiet and numb. I don't exactly know why I'm feeling better, but, hey, I'll take it. Now, I won't be surprised if I still have some random sobbing moments here and there, but I think they will be fewer and farther between. Whew.

Picture Time

Would you call this a widow's peak or a receding hairline?
If it's the latter then doesn't my little girl look like her daddy? (Just kidding, Husband! Love you and your bald head!)

Look! My feet are chock full of veins once more. Not sure if super veiny feet are more attractive than pudding feet, so I encourage you to focus on the baby feet in the photo. Aw...baby feet.

2 Weeks Old

2009-06-10T17:27:00.002-05:00

So many excellent suggestions both in the comments and via email about how to handle Target. My favorite suggestion would have to be using the fitting room to breastfeed (thanks Angie & Lisa Beth!). For yesterday's shopping trip, however, I opted to bring a buddy.

After yesterday's outing went well, I felt confident enough to take Bella to Babies R Us today. She mainly slept through the whole trip and even continued to sleep for an additional 40 minutes after we got home. Ah...heaven.

As far as how I'm doing...well, I'm still struggling. I think my three main problems are (1) sleep deprivation, (2) wild hormonal swings, and (3) physical pain from birth and breast feeding. Since issue #1 won't get resolved anytime soon, I'm waiting on issues #2 and #3 to improve. Rumor has it they should be better in another couple weeks, which feels like a millennium to me right now. At this point I'm taking it hour by hour, day by day.

I'm really bummed that I'm feeling this way. I had hoped to avoid these types of issues, but realistically knew they could occur. Blegh. It's nothing that I can't handle, I just wish I felt like a serene Earth Mama rather than a zombie. In time...

1 Week, 6 Days Old

2009-06-09T11:32:00.002-05:00

A bits & pieces post, which you'll forgive me for because y'all know I'm tired.

Item 1
We have officially transitioned to cloth diapers and now Bella has a gigantic baby bottom. Er, wait, is bottom the right word here? Damn those hospital people and their use of the word bottom.

Here is Bella pondering her feelings about being a cloth-diaper wearing baby. She may or may not also be sleeping while she ponders.

Item 2
Husband is back at work today, which is a little scary for me, but I think I can handle it. And actually, he is only working five days (Tuesday through Friday this week and next Monday) and then he will be off until June 29 when he starts a new position. In a random bit of fortune, the lab where Husband currently works ran out of money and had to lay him off as of June 15. Why is this fortuitous? Well, Husband was going to quit that job anyway since he now has his MBA, but because it is a lay off, he gets a severance package. Life works out fantastically well sometimes.

Item 3
So last night Bella spit up a shocking amount after a feeding. It got everywhere - all over my clothes and all over her clothes (and can I just say how warm and gross it felt?). As I was stripping both of us down to put on new clothes, I noticed that my belly button was full of spit up. MY BELLY BUTTON WAS FULL OF SPIT UP. Hoping this isn't the start of a new era for my belly button where it serves as a waste receptacle.

Item 4
The other day Husband and I were on the couch and he said, "I think I want to have a third beer tonight. It's been so long since I was able to have three in one evening because I had to be on call in case you went into labor". My deadpan response? "That must have been quite the sacrifice". Husband quickly realized the folly of his comment and opted to just have a glass of water. Ha.

Item 5
Debating going to Target with Bella, but here is my question: What do I do if she starts freaking out in the middle of my shopping and I need to leave? Whipping out my boob in the cat food aisle is not an option and I refuse to breastfeed in the restroom. I guess my real question is: Is it really, really terrible to leave my half-full cart of purchases for some random employee to have to put away? Yes or no? Or maybe there is another option that I'm not seeing?

Crying Over Spilled (Breast) Milk

2009-06-07T09:44:00.005-05:00

Things have gotten progressively harder over the past several days. Not unbearable, just hard. I've found myself bursting into tears on several occasions just from the sheer weight of it all. Tonight it occurred just after dinner when we were sitting at the table. I thought about taking the recycling out and it just made me so tired.

I don't think I'm experiencing postpartum depression, or even the "baby blues". No, I think what I have is plain old sleep deprivation with a side of sore nipples. Unless "baby blues" is just a fancy way of saying sleep deprived woman who recently gave birth? The reason I'm not thinking it's something more serious is because I'm honestly doing OK for the most part - staying positive, making sure to exercise as possible, eating right, etc. Husband and I also talked about it and while we are watching for signs that it has turned into something more serious, he also thinks I'm simply exhausted.

So that's where I'm at right now. Breastfeeding around the clock and doing what I can to make myself feel better (hot baths, books, and wee glasses of wine are my choices du jour). I'm working on the "sleep when the baby sleeps" concept, but I am finding that naps at 6 pm leave me really surly, just as staying in bed until 11 AM leaves me feeling groggy and gross. I'll keep working on it. In the meantime, my lovely will get older and will not be needing quite so much help with the breastfeeding, which should make feedings go more smoothly. Husband has also been great, holding me while I cry and doing whatever he can to help out with burping, diapering, cooking, and other chores around the house. I don't know how I would do it without him (tears welling in my eyes as I write that).

Speaking of my lovely, here are a couple more pictures. Here's to hoping she sleeps for a four hour stretch tonight! Please, please, please, baby, sleep for a four hour stretch tonight.

PS - Bella weighed 8 lbs 6 oz at her pediatrician visit on Thursday. That means she gained a pound in a week as her hospital discharge weight was 7 lbs 6 oz! Babies are generally expected to gain 4-7 oz in their first week and Bella goes and gains 16 oz. Clearly breastfeeding is going well, sore nipples aside.

Preggy Blonde Recommends...

2009-06-07T09:16:00.003-05:00

I dedicate this post to my readers who are ready to pop any day now. Here are the key items that have gotten me through the past week and a half.

Medela Tender Care HydroGel Pads The home health nurse suggested these and they helped my sore & cracked nipples enormously. While they are kind of expensive, you can cut each sheet into quarters and just use a small square at a time. I couldn't find them at Target, but it seems Babies R Us has them (at least online). These are much, MUCH better than the nipple creams I tried.

[Um, why do I feel all awkward talking about my sore & cracked nipples, yet have no qualms disclosing information about my carnage or pooping during labor? I am a confused soul.]

Target Merona Keyhole Dress

Since having Bella I've been loathe to put my maternity clothes back on. Yuck. Besides, at this point, I have a little pot belly more than I have a bump so they wouldn't fit well anyway. Enter a very quick trip to Target where I frantically grabbed skirts and dresses in one size larger than my usual. I have found this particular dress to be an excellent transition piece as you can dress it up (such as with ballet flats, a cardigan and pearls to Bella's first pediatrician visit) or dress it down with a pair of flip flops AND you can easily slip it off your shoulder in order to breastfeed. I'm going to buy two more because I keep getting milk all over it (I know, kind of gross). The best part is that it's only $25.

Kiddopotamus SwaddleMe Fleece Wrap

After reading The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp I was sold on swaddling. The Kiddopotamus (or Kiddywompus as we like to call it) makes it super easy to swaddle and a lot harder for baby to bust out of it. I'm thinking that for Halloween we can swaddle her up in the Kiddopotamus, then wrap her in foil and she can be a Chipotle Burrito.

Recovery

2009-06-04T18:42:00.005-05:00

I don't think I can share the birth story without pairing it with a post about my recovery. So here is a little more TMI, but less of the pooping variety. And keep in mind - all of these things are worth it! Completely and totally worth it.

Carnage or as the hospital likes to call it "My Bottom"
Ah yes, carnage is what I affectionately called my lady bits area post birth, much to my sister's dismay ("Can't you call it something else?"). I had a second degree tear, which means both skin and muscle tore during delivery and it had to be stitched up. I think this would have been preventable had I not been so overzealous with the pushing. Next time I'll game face the baby in the birth canal thing and hold off on crazy pushing. But, second degree tears are not THAT big of a deal as there are things called third and fourth degree tears. In order to not freak anyone out, I won't detail what those tears are, but if you are interested you can read all about it here.

Overall, things really aren't that bad, but it did hurt to sit down for several days. It's getting better. I've also been taking ibuprofen for the pain. There has been bleeding, but nothing like I expected. In fact, the worst part is the whole pad wearing situation. And you will not believe the pads they have you wear in the hospital. I took one home for the sole purpose of photographing it in order to share it with the world.

From left to right: Pantyliner, What I Formerly Thought of as a Scary Huge Pad, What I Now Know is a Scary Huge Pad

The scary huge pad goes with some disposable mesh undies, which a nursery pillow was kind enough to model for you all.

They would also put a big old ice pack in there, too, along with the scary huge pad. Husband laughed at me in this mesh panty get up. How could he not?

It's just wrong. WRONG.

[Husband's Comment: When I saw Laura in this garb I thought immediately of the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man's wife.]

Dizziness, Weakness & Fatigue
This bugs me more than the carnage. I have been struggling with dizziness, weakness and fatigue since the birth and that is likely due to the blood loss I experienced. I find it very frustrating to only be able to walk a tiny 2 block walk before feeling super dizzy and faint. Gah. It will take time to get my iron levels back to their normal levels and in the meantime I have to take it easy. I'm eating lots of iron rich foods to help get back on track sooner, so there has been a return of an old favorite: Raisin Nut Bran! Good old RNB.

Swelling
I was very disappointed to discover that my cankles and pudding feet did not improve post delivery. Only in the past two days have I noticed a discernible decrease in the swelling. It felt so good to put on shoes other than my flip flops and slip my wedding ring back on my finger today.

Post-Partum Body & Weight Loss
I am down 23 lbs as of today; I'm soooo above the yellow line this week. The weight loss clearly goes hand in hand with the swelling finally subsiding. I'm sure the speed of weight loss will stop in the next couple days as my body gets back towards it's fluid equilibrium. In the end, I gained 53 lbs with pregnancy (WHOOPS). Interestingly, my appetite has really dropped since delivery. Maybe my body has a master plan and likes to do things bear-about-to-hibernate style? Either way, I'm not too worried about it. I already feel myself going back to normal. Hello waist! Long time no see.

So there you have it. Recovery is going slower than I would have predicted, but I'm doing quite well. And again, if suffering through a little carnage and pudding foot means getting to eat up this delicious face all day every day, well then I'll take it.

One Week

2009-06-03T23:15:00.002-05:00

It's high time for a video montage! Here is Bella's first week. Figured it would be a nice break after the mother* of all posts: the birth story.

Enjoy.

Arabella Grace from Laura on Vimeo.

*Punny, no?

The Birth Story

2009-06-02T11:56:00.006-05:00

And now ladies and gentleman, may I present to you...THE BIRTH STORY!

Tuesday 1:30 AM
I awaken from my shallow pregnant sleep to use the bathroom (again) and after peeing I find that I'm super nauseous. I start to dry heave and I reflect on the fact that even leaning over the toilet to puke is harder at 10 months pregnant. I'm also feeling something similar to strong period cramps and my back aches. Something in my brain tells me that things might be adding up to early signs of labor, but the more sensible neurons in my brain remind me that I think EVERYTHING is a sign of labor. I go back to bed and sleep fitfully.

Tuesday 3 AM - 5 AM
I am having trouble sleeping as I am experiencing a contraction every 10 - 20 minutes or so. All my tossing and turning wakes up Husband and I tell him what's going on. He does some acupressure on me (specific points to help induce labor) as we listen to the Hypnobirthing relaxation CD. I'm really hoping that this all means something.

[Husband’s comment: At this point I’m not sure what is or is not a sign that Laura is going into labor but you kind of have to figure that you need to assume that it could come any time and that no matter how many times labor appears to have cried wolf, we have to be prepared.]

Tuesday 8 AM
Midwife Exam: I'm hooked up to the monitors for the non-stress test, which monitors both the baby’s heartbeat and contractions, and they leave me in the exam room alone with Husband. I’m disappointed when no contractions show up, even though I had been having them intermittently all morning. The internal exam reveals that I've dilated another centimeter and I am now 3 cm dilated, 80% effaced, and the baby remains engaged at a 0 to -1 station. The midwife sweeps my membranes, explaining that it can help push things over the edge if a woman is very close to labor.

[Husband’s comment: By this point I’m used to Laura being checked like some sort of automobile. They have her up on the table so much lately in these last appointments that I feel like I could do a vaginal exam myself.]

Tuesday 9:30 AM - 1 PM
I continue to feel contractions randomly, perhaps one or two each hour, further increasing my suspicions that I might be in early labor.

Tuesday 1 PM
Husband and I take his parents, who have extended their visit in hopes to be around for the birth, to lunch at an Indian Buffet. I choose to eat an assortment of vegetarian delights - lots of lentils, chickpeas, and spinach. Basically, I eat 800 grams of fiber. This will come back to haunt me...

[Husband’s comment: This still haunts me ;) ]

Tuesday 2:30 PM – 4 PM
I take a nap and am roused time and again by contractions. I don't care - I am just getting really excited that at exactly 41 weeks things are FINALLY happening.

Tuesday 4 PM
The answer to Is this labor or not? starts to tip favorably towards the THIS IS LABOR! side. Contractions have not only continued to come, but they seem to be getting more regular. At this point I'm still able to talk during them and if asked to describe them I would say it still feels like a bad period cramp with accompanying back pain. They kind of hurt, but nothing out of the realm that I've experienced before. Husband and I begin to time the contractions using contractionmaster.com.

Tuesday 5 PM - 7 PM
Contractions continue to come and the timing between them gets closer and closer together. During this two hour period I move from contractions 10 minutes apart to 6 minutes apart. Each contraction is 30 - 45 seconds long. I find myself needing to stop whatever I'm doing when the contraction comes on and just breathe. This feels stronger than menstrual cramps, or at least a more concentrated type of intensity. My back is hurting. In between contractions I feel generally fine, although I still feel slight cramping. I update Preggy Blonde and Facebook, text my sister and call my Mom. I'm feeling pretty darn sure that I'm in labor and I have Husband place a call to our doula to keep her apprised of the situation. Husband makes me eat a granola bar, but I have no appetite.

[Husband’s comment: For the first time I start to think ‘Holy Shit, I’m on! I need to get myself prepared.’ I can’t help but follow Laura around like some kind of lost puppy and just watch her and ask her incessantly ‘Can I get you anything? Water? Trail mix?’ etc., etc.]

Tuesday 7 PM – 8 PM
Contractions continue to get stronger and stronger. The act of going up the stairs is enough to trigger a contraction even if I just had one a minute ago and it makes going upstairs to pee in between the contractions a little tricky. I decide to change into a short grey tank nightgown so I can feel more comfortable as I labor. My back pain seems to have eased up and I’m not feeling it during contractions. Contractions are 5-6 minutes apart and are lasting 30-45 seconds.

Tuesday 8 - 9 PM
Husband dims the lights, lights some candles, and puts on relaxation music. I request to listen to the birthing affirmations CD (part of Hypnobirthing) a couple times. I begin to moan during contractions, which is sort of weirding me out, but I do find that it helps to ease the pain of the contractions as it makes me focus on my breathing. Contractions are 4-5 minutes apart and are lasting 45-60 seconds. The back pain seems to be making a reappearance.

[Husband’s comment: Now, I’m a bit concerned. My wife sounds like a cow or goat bleating in the fields. Momentary thoughts of ‘can the neighbors hear?’ visit my brain but are quickly extinguished, as more serious questions like ‘are you prepared to see this get worse?’ arise]

Tuesday 9 – 10 PM
Husband places a call to the doula at 9 PM and asks her to head over as contractions continue to come more frequently and are lasting longer. Each one requires dedicated and focused breathing to get through it and I find myself most comfortable leaning on the back of the couch. The moaning continues to get louder and the sounds coming out of my mouth are “OOOOOOH” and “AHHHHH”. I remember reading that these sounds keep your jaw loose, which in turn keeps your uterus and body relaxed and makes laboring more productive. Interesting that it’s working for me and I do it seemingly unconsciously. My back is really hurting again and sitting on the birthing ball feels terrible although leaning over it during contractions is somewhat helpful. I have an urge to tense up my shoulders with each contraction and it's hard to keep them relaxed. Contractions are coming every 3-4 minutes and are lasting 45-60 seconds. I change back into my regular maternity clothes in preparation for the trip to the hospital.

[Husband’s comment: Laura seems like she’s in her own world now. She’s very focused and I’m a bundle of nerves. I try to stay busy by packing the car and having everything prepared for the trip. I’m nervous as hell and want to go for a run so I can relieve the tension but there’s no way that’s happening now and I already went for one earlier in the day. I try to show a calm face for her but inside I’m all nervous energy.]

Tuesday 10 PM
Just prior to the doula arriving, I became adamant that it is time to go to the hospital as I felt labor is progressing very rapidly. Seconds after the doula arrives, we get into the car and head to the hospital. I sit in the front seat and the doula rubs my shoulders during contractions. I remarked that I wouldn't mind if the contractions came more infrequently in the car (as I have heard can happen), but that is not the case for me. The window is open and I wonder if the man walking down the street is thinking with alarm "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" as I loudly moan my way through a contraction. I am grateful that this car ride is taking place during a time when the highways are free of much traffic.

[Husband’s comment: Laura was essentially turning my Subaru Forrester into a cop car, providing the warning siren as we sped to the hospital. I felt kind of strange driving through downtown with a woman moaning really loudly in my car with the windows open but again I just had to go with the flow. Plus, downtown has so many freaks anyway, who would notice?...except for the one guy that we pass that clearly hears her.]

Tuesday 10:30 PM
We arrive at the hospital and pull up in front of the Emergency Entrance as the main entrances are now closed. I ask Husband and the doula to wait for me to have one more contraction before we head in, as the ER lobby is full of people. I can’t help but want to avoid making other people feel creeped out by seeing a very pregnant lady moaning in labor. Husband drops us off and goes to park the car. The doula and I make our way through the hospital, having to stop a few times along the way. I grip the wall rail and am able to moan more quietly during these contractions. Each time, though, nurses and other staff stops to ask if we need assistance. This vaguely embarrasses me but, of course, they must see it all the time. Again, I'm grateful that this is happening at 10:30 PM at night and not in the middle of the day when there would be so many people around to observe me.

[Husband’s comment: I really didn’t like being separated from Laura at this point but felt confident she was in good hands with our doula. I tried to park the car as quickly and safely as possible, as I was anxious to be back by Laura’s side.]

Tuesday 10:40 PM
We get upstairs to labor & delivery and check in. I go pee and as I turn to leave the bathroom I am suddenly very nauseous. I go back to the toilet and throw up. I remark to the doula, "Gross. It smells like my lunch". She laughs and helps me back to the little observation room when they hook me up to the monitors. I am very uncomfortable laboring in the bed with a blood pressure cuff on my arm and monitors around my belly. My BP is initially very high, but when taken again it is normal. The monitors reveal that baby is doing great. The midwife comes into check me and I'm dilated to 6 cm. She comments that I did over half of my laboring at home. Some part of my brain is glad that I was able to accomplish so much at home, but the bigger part of my brain is registering the fact that "OH MY GOD THESE CONTRACTIONS ARE REALLY HURTING and I’m only halfway through?!”.

[Husband’s comment: I get the car parked and get all the bags, pillows, etc. It feels like I’m bringing stuff in for some sort of Bed and Breakfast, because we have lots of bags, etc. In fact, I carried in three pillows, a cooler, a backpack, my briefcase, Laura’s purse and a rolling suitcase and had to walk a ways because the main entrance that was by the ramp was closed, as it was after ten. My back started killing me and my shoulder was in a death pinch, which made me start sweating. Here’s an aside: whenever I’m running or doing something like studying for a monster finance exam or preparing for a presentation for execs I want to quit during the middle of it but I always think of those contestants on Biggest Loser and how they are doing something that they never thought they could ever do. Somehow, that provides me with the motivation to go on. Now, as I’m walking around the perimeter of the hospital with aches driving into the roots of my nerves, Laura is now the motivation that keeps me going. I think to myself, this pain in my shoulder and back is nothing compared to what she’s going through right now. Do I need to moan like a goat? No, so clearly I’m not in any pain. I finally reach Laura just after she puked and is getting her blood pressure measured.]

Tuesday 11 PM
We move to a much larger labor & delivery room and I change back into my grey nightgown to labor in. I try a couple different positions for laboring - leaning over the bed with my hands on the bed and then leaning over the birthing ball which is sitting on the bed. Neither is relieving my pain much, so I decide to try laboring in the tub. Husband changes into swimming trunks to help push on my back and massage me during contractions as I was feeling a lot of back pain. The doula also assists with massage and putting pressure on my back. I labor in the tub for several contractions, but feel the urge to try a new position so I get back out. I am very loud during each contraction, directing my AHHHHs, OOOOOHs, and OOOOOOOs to my uterus. I even start throwing in some OWWWWWWs, cause, dude, it hurt. I find it very helpful to direct the attention and breathing directly to the uterus with these crazy loud noises. Somewhere deep in my brain I wonder if the other laboring women can hear me. It doesn’t occur to me that if I can’t hear anyone else, they probably can’t hear me.

Tuesday 11:15 PM
The midwife checks me again in the bed and I’m at 8 cm. She states that she thinks she should break my water as it might help relieve some of the pressure. I allow her to do this, but don’t notice any decrease in pressure. There is a slight amount of meconium in the amniotic fluid so she places a call to have additional people in the room to check the baby when she is born as the meconium can get into the baby’s lungs when she draws her first breath.

Tuesday 11:30 PM
The contractions continue to come fast and furious. The midwife, in trying to assess where I’m at in labor, asks me if I am feeling like I need to push or maybe poop. I tell her that I definitely feel like I need to poop. And it’s not just a feeling; I really do need to poop (remember the 800 grams of fiber at the Indian buffet at lunch?). I try going to the bathroom, but fears of the baby falling into the toilet prevent me from going (not to mention feeling AWK having the bathroom door open and a bunch of people waiting for me in the other room). I head back to the bed and work through the contractions with Husband putting pressure on my back and hips. And then it happens. I poo a little. So it turns out I’m one of those kinds of women – the pooping kind. And now I want you to promptly forget I ever told you this.

[Husband’s comment: While standing behind Laura when she was leaning on the birthing ball, which was placed on the bed for higher support, I was massaging her back and putting downward pressure on her hips to ease the pain. Somehow a little nugget of poop dropped to the floor unbeknownst to either of us and as I moved away from her to help her into another position, my toe swept through the little turd, causing me to gag a bit.]

Wednesday 11:45 PM
I make it through each contraction by staring at a very specific point, either on the wall or somewhere in the room. In between contractions I drop into a heavily relaxed state, staring without really seeing into space.

Wednesday 12:00 AM
My moaning during contractions begins to change and they now are even more guttural and include almost a ferocious grunting (I was unaware of it). The midwife asks me how I want to deliver the baby; whether it be on my side, on my back, or on my hands and knees. I opt to get in the bed, mostly just because I don’t want to have to make a choice. I just pick it. I climb into the bed and the midwife does an internal exam. I’m just over 9 cm.

[Husband’s comment: during all of these contractions, which continue to escalate, I’m kind of freaking out, though I only show it occasionally. I can’t stand to see the woman I love in such pain. I want more than anything for this to end. I want to say, ‘OK, just kidding we don’t want the baby, let’s just go home and we’ll do this again in a year or two.’ The fact that this was irreversible and that we were going to go through this until the end was a bit intense. I mean, there’s no pause, no time out, no nothing. Just contraction after contraction, one at a time like some sort of metered battery of progress. Always moving forward.]

Wednesday 12:30 AM
Several more contractions later, the midwife checks me again and says I’m almost there. She pushes aside the last part of my cervical lip and then explains that now I am in the pushing phase and can start using the contractions to push the baby out. At first, I’m not exactly sure how to push, but when I bear down pooping style, everyone praises what a good push it was so I figure that is the way to go. When I push, a nurse holds one leg back and my doula holds my other leg. I note the clock on the wall above the midwife and I figure to myself that I’ll have this baby before 1 AM. I’m excited about the prospect, but unable to really dwell much on it. At this point, I just want this to be over.

Wednesday 12:45 AM
It occurs to me that an epidural would take away this pain, but I know they don’t give them this late in the game. Even with the pain, I don’t really want the epidural. I can be stubborn about some things and a natural birth was one of them.

Wednesday 1:00 AM
I continue to use the contractions to push the baby out. The feeling is so uncomfortable and there is no rest in between contractions as there is so much pressure all the time. I’m feeling confused why this is taking so long since I was under the impression a person just pushes a few times and the baby slides out. Clearly I missed learning about pushing along the way, as I didn’t know that pushing could take hours. I try asking the midwife exactly how much longer this will all take. She gives a vague gentle answer about things going in their own time and not being able to predict it. I ask again for a general time reference – will this be done in 5 minutes, 10? Maybe 20? She states that we will be calling my parents by 2 AM to tell them about the baby. I feel slightly panicky and ask, “Another hour of this!?” And she clarifies that she means the baby will come sooner than that, but by 2 AM we will be ready to call parents. This pacifies me.

Wednesday 1:05 AM
Husband keeps putting a cold washcloth to my forehead and telling me to focus on how cool it feels. This is really helpful because it gives me an alternative to focusing on the physical sensations elsewhere in my body.

Wednesday 1:15 AM
Oh my god, I’m still pushing. I watch the clock tick, tick, tick by. The midwife asks me if I want a mirror to see the baby’s head. I give a vehement, “NO!”. In fact, I say, “NO, thank you” in a weird display of politeness.

Wednesday 1:20 AM
Husband tries putting the cool washcloth on my cheeks and my chest. He gets a firm, “NO, THANK YOU” and goes back to just putting it on my forehead.

[Husband’s comment: Actually, she swatted me away like some annoying fly while saying ‘No, thank you.’ She was firm but polite throughout the entire process. I was amazed.]

Wednesday 1:25 AM
The midwife says that one more push and the baby will be out. She tells me to reach down and feel my baby’s head. The thought of that does not float my boat. The midwife gets another firm, “NO, thank you” from me. She tells me, “One more push and the baby will be out!”. FINALLY! I wait for the contraction so I can push.

[Husband’s comment: At this point Laura’s nethers look like a mound between her legs. You can see that the baby’s head is pushing the entire area up. Crazily, the top of the baby’s head is sitting just outside of her and is clearly visible. It literally looks like a large hairy knuckle. I really wasn’t sure what I was looking at but didn’t dare say anything about it. I thought for sure that the baby was going to have a true cone head. It’s incredible how that head bends and conforms with the flexible plates!]

Wednesday 1:26 AM
No contraction.

Wednesday 1:27 AM
Still no contraction.

Wednesday 1:28 AM
WHERE THE FUCKING HELL IS THE CONTRACTION!?

Thursday 1:29 AM
I ask the midwife, “Where is the contraction? I don’t understand!? Why did they stop? Where is it? Where is it?”

[Husband’s comment: This was a brief moment of humor for the rest of us. For the last how many ever hours, Laura has been asking how many contractions she has left, stating how much each of them hurts, she’s cursed the contractions, etc. and now she’s asking for one. I looked up and everyone was trying not to laugh but all held it in, appropriately.]

Wednesday 1:30 AM
The contraction comes. I bear down and…

Wednesday 1:31 AM
With a final push, Arabella Grace emerges into the world facing up (this was the reason for all the back pain). The rest of her body slips out very quickly along with her head. She is placed on my stomach and Husband cuts her cord. Because of the small amount of meconium in the amniotic fluid, she is brought over to a warmer and looked at. She appears to be perfectly healthy and there is no meconium in her lungs. Her apgar scores are 9 and 9.

Wednesday 1:38 AM
After Bella is checked out, the nurses instruct Husband to take off his shirt in order to have skin-to-skin contact with the baby to keep her warm. He brings her over to me and places her on my chest. Husband and I both cry and are overwhelmed with emotion.

Wednesday 1:40 AM
The midwife explains to me that I will need to deliver the placenta now, which will require some pushing, although nothing like delivery of the baby. After the placenta is delivered, I begin bleeding profusely and the midwife is having a hard time finding the source of the bleeding. In the end, I am hemorrhaging and lose over a pint of blood. To stop the bleeding they need to get my uterus to contract which requires a shot of pitocin and something called cytotec, which they administered rectally (RECTALLY – can’t a woman get a break??). They also inject me multiple times with Novocaine, which is painful and burns. At this point I’m feeling really frustrated by the situation and I just want people to stop touching me.

In spite of the drama going on down below, Bella remains on my chest. We initiate breastfeeding. Bella takes to it right away, but I do feel distracted. The blood pressure cuff keeps checking my blood pressure and I beg the nurse to let me take it off. She, of course, cannot because after the blood loss they need to make sure my vital signs remain stable. Once the profuse bleeding has stopped, the midwife assesses the damage and I have a second degree tear. She stitches me up and the nurses do a lot of pressing on my uterus (LEAVE ME ALONE!) and then by 2:30 AM, we are finally left alone.

[Husband’s comment: This was the hardest part for me. On the one hand, the baby was out and appeared healthy and happy but Laura was still on the table and there was a quiet concentration and bit of concern on the part of the midwife and nurses and they weren’t necessarily communicating what the problem was. Laura was losing, what looked to me like, a ton of blood, which was literally cascading down from her and over the table and into some kind of bag they had set up to catch the fluids, etc. The midwife kept saying that she couldn’t find the source of the bleeding, which to me meant this was not good. Also, Laura was still in pain and discomfort from all the measures they were taking to stop the bleeding and I was in a panic but again couldn’t or didn’t want to lose it for fear it would upset Laura or the baby. I was really worried that something was going to happen to Laura and there was nothing I could do about it. Fortunately, after some time, everything was getting better but there was a time that I was seriously about to break.]

Wednesday 2:30 AM
Husband stretches and says, “Ow, my back really hurts”. I say to him, “DUDE, you did not just say that”, but I think it’s funny. He then looks down and remarks, “What happened? Why am I only wearing my swimming trunks?”

Bella and I continue to bond as she lies on my chest. Husband stands by the side of the bed (after putting his shirt back on) and we just gaze at our baby, at what we’ve done.

And so our life begins…

6 Days Old

2009-06-01T10:17:00.002-05:00

On my mind...

Um...how do you put on a diaper?
I have read pretty much every Baby Sitter's Club book that is out there; most of them more than once. But a plethora of BSC knowledge (Do you know who Kristy Thomas' first boyfriend was? What about the name of Mary Anne Spier's father? Or the reason Stacy McGill is "different"?) does not translate into having actual baby skills. You see, I never really babysat and I haven't done much more than hold an infant for a moment or two prior to this past Wednesday. So my knowledge going into motherhood has been from books (fear not - I have read more than just BSC books) and from one course on Baby Care Basics. And no amount of book learnin' is going to cut it when it comes to figuring out how to put a diaper on a baby. When Husband was changing Bella a couple days ago, he remarked "Who put this diaper on?" cause it was all gimpy. And it was me. I put the diaper on gimpy.

Luckily, I have people around like my Mom and Husband (who did a lot of babysitting for his nephew) to help me figure out how to care for an infant. Turns out having read about the time young Jackie Rodowski got his hand stuck in the glass jar [BSC #10 Logan Likes Mary Anne!] doesn't really help much when it comes to actual baby care.

For the true BSC fans: Can we just pause for a moment to reflect that the Pike family was the original Jon & Kate Plus 8? You know I am so right, especially with the triplets thrown into that mix. Quick - try to name all three! You better believe I can.

Breastfeeding
So far breastfeeding has been going phenomenally well. I think I'm just one of the lucky ones whose stars aligned in that department and I cannot express how grateful I am to be one of the lucky ones. Bella has an excellent ability to suck (see thumb sucking photo in the 5 Days Old post) and my milk came in very quickly at two days postpartum. When the home health nurse stopped by on Saturday she was impressed by how easily Bella breastfed. And Bella was also not only back to, but above her birth weight at 4 days old, which is pretty unusual. That's my sturdy baby! A good eater just like her mama.

What is interesting to me is that even though breastfeeding is going so well, I still find it to be quite challenging. And if I'm supposedly having such an easy time of it, I can't imagine the frustration and heartbreak when things just aren't working. My problems so far are the typical sore nipples and figuring out a way to keep Bella's hands out of her mouth when I'm getting her to latch on. Breastfeeding would be more practical if we all had eight arms like that Hindu goddess. A few arms could hold the baby, one could hold the boob, one could keep stimulating the baby to keep her awake, one could grab the water glass, one can mop up the milk spillage that occurs when latching on doesn't happen on the first try and the last arm could be there for back up. I'm sure it will keep getting easier, but in the meantime it really is quite tricky to get a baby latched on correctly to your boob.

Speaking of my boobs, they are maxing out somewhere in the neighborhood of size 38 H since they are engorged right now. They should calm back down to a much more modest (ha!) 38 F after things get settled with breastfeeding. I'm a little afraid of what I will look like once I start losing weight. I suppose it will be similar to what I looked like early in the first trimester. Oy.

Cloth Diapering
I've had a couple questions about why I'm not cloth diapering. I would love to get started with it, but there have been a couple reasons to delay. The first reason was waiting for the meconium poo to fully pass (didn't want to deal with the probable staining) and the second reason is that Bella's umbilical stump got irritated when I put a cloth diaper on her. The cloth diapers just too large and bulky for Bella at the moment and they are rubbing against her stump so I need to wait until her belly button is fully healed before we do cloth. In the meantime, a little Pampers Swaddlers baby she shall be.

New Blog
Preggy Blonde will be ending soon as I am no longer pregnant. And let's be honest here, I'm no longer blonde either (unless mousy dishwater roots count?). But don't despair - a new blog is in the works and will be launched very soon. Any ideas for a name? Hope you all follow me over there!

5 Days Old

2009-05-31T21:29:00.009-05:00

The Last Belly Picture

And in case you were curious about what a 4 days postpartum belly looks like, here you go.

So much change in a week: Monday (left) to Saturday (right).

The birth story is nearly complete and Husband is contributing his comments, too. In the meantime, more photos!

My cute little thumb sucker.

Here is baby and daddy having a little skin-to-skin tummy time. Soooooo cute.

3 Days Old

2009-05-29T22:45:00.003-05:00

Birth story still on it's way. Apparently babies take away from blogging time. Who knew!?

So today was the first time I felt a little stressed out. Ms. Bella opted to not poop for 5 million hours (technically more like 40 hours) and the goal is for her to have two poops a day. [Gotta love poop goals. What's yours?] Yikes. I called the lactation consultant number to see what they thought and the woman told me that I needed to start pumping and give Bella the breast milk either through a cup (um, what?) or a slow-flow bottle.

That was the first time that my mama bear instincts kicked in and I chose to not head the advice of an expert. Unfortunately, it also made me question if breast feeding was really going as well as I thought it was and if Bella was OK.

Luckily, by 10 pm this evening Bella had a great poo after a productive nursing session and I was enormously relieved. Relieved and at the same time irritated that a lactation consultant would be so quick to recommend giving a bottle to a 3 day old baby when my goal is to exclusively breast feed.

Anyway, my Mom, Husband and I were all so happy about the poo that we decided to celebrate by opening the bottle of Prosecco that my Mom thoughtfully picked up for me. It was my first drink since August 2008. AUGUST 2008. A looooong time ago. I feel like a born again virgin, but boozy-style*.

So ends the poop story of the day. Perhaps I'll start a new blog entitled "Your Daily Poop" since that seems to be what is on my mind now that I'm a Mama. Who wouldn't want to read that?

* I had about 3 oz of the Prosecco and felt tipsy enough to give the rest to Husband. Seriously - 3 measly ounces. Guess I'll have to reconsider hitting up a kegger this weekend.

Two Days Old

2009-05-28T23:03:00.004-05:00

Just a quick update - We got home today at 3 pm so I can now blog freely once more. Big thanks to big sis Susie Cupcakes for posting in the interim.

Here are some more pictures to tide you all over until I write up the birth story. I know you are all eager to hear about the pooping...

In the meantime, we all continue to do extremely well and I am functioning just fine on maybe 4 hours of cumulative sleep over the past two days. Some sort of post birth effect that will disappear tomorrow leaving me a mess? Perhaps.

Oh, one more thing. My boobs...they're growing...where they will stop, nobody knows. Life just keeps getting more exciting by the minute!

One Day Old

2009-05-28T06:44:00.004-05:00

We all continue to do very well, albeit very sleepy.

Bella has breastfed several times (yay!), but has been too sleepy to feed for the last few hours. Apparently this is typical for newborns - and I have to remember, the baby is only a mere 12 hours old. 12 hours!! I can't wrap my head around the fact that yesterday at this time she was chilling in the womb.

I am really glad to say that I was able to have the labor and delivery I wanted in terms of going natural, although it was absolutely not what I expected.

It will take me a couple days to put together my full birth & recovery story, but here is a sneak preview of some of the highlights:

Why eating lunch at an Indian Buffet the day you go into labor is maybe not the best choice [Subtitle:Pooping During Delivery]
AHHHHHH, OOOOOOOH, ERRRRGH and a couple FUCKS!: The noises Preggy Blonde made in labor
Natural Birthing in 7 Hours - OY! with a side of AY CARAMBA!
A Husband's Perspective on Labor & Delivery
Modesty...What's that?
Exciting Postpartum Wear: Mesh Underwear & Mega Pads [Subtitle: What your mama friends never told you]

Finally, the nurses and midwives keep referring to my vagina as my "bottom". Is this not super weird given the fact that I'm 28 years old and have a fully developed vocabulary, not to mention just gave birth through my VAGINA? Bottom. Hmph.

She's here!

2009-05-27T06:27:00.003-05:00

This is Susie Cupcakes, Laura's sister, reporting that beautiful Arabella Grace was born this morning at 1:31am, after only 7 hours of labor. She is perfect and healthy, all toes and fingers accounted for. She weighs 7 lbs, 12 oz and is 21 inches long. The proud mom and dad are doing great. You KNOW Laura has some stories to tell but as she is in the hospital, she is blocked by the firewall. Don't they know new moms need to blog? Anyway, expect photos later and the whole story soon!

I am a very proud auntie this morning.

Labor #2

2009-05-26T20:33:00.003-05:00

Laura: Contractions now 4-ish minutes apart. And apparently I like to labor by moaning "AHHHHHH" and "OOOOOOOH" really loud. Awkward.

Am losing control of my person. Oh well. It's all for the greater good :)

Labor

2009-05-26T19:44:00.002-05:00

Contractions are coming 5-6 minutes apart and they continue to get stronger. They definitely are painful, but not in a bad way. More in a productive way. I am getting down on my hands and knees for most of them and Husband presses on my back as that has a lot of pressure during contractions.

[Husband from here on out, I think...]

Laura is now getting quite serious and focused. I think we're going to be having Arabella tonight BUT no promises, as we don't know what awaits us. We'll do our best to keep you all updated. We're both having a bit of 'emotional incontinence,' as Laura likes to call it. Laura is really doing great, she's such an incredibly strong and determined woman. I know I will have a new found and much deeper respect for her after this whole process. I can already feel that transformation.

41 Weeks (Later)

2009-05-26T18:20:00.003-05:00

I THINK THIS IS IT!!!

I've continued to have contractions throughout the day and they seem to be getting both stronger and more regular (right now ~7 minutes apart). They come on sort of quickly and I have to stop what I'm doing and just breathe. I won't go to the hospital until I'm having contractions that last for one minute every 3-5 minutes for at least an hour. Husband and I will check in with our doula in the next hour or so and she'll come over at some point and will go with us to the hospital.

I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOO excited. It's going to hurt, but I don't care. I'm having a baby!

41 Weeks

2009-05-26T10:37:00.003-05:00

Hello there, 41 weeks. Some preggies don't ever get a chance to know you and truthfully, I would have been OK never knowing you myself, but here we are. How do you do?

Speaking of 41 weeks, I had to remove the ticker with the growing baby in the womb. Not only did it get confused after 40 weeks and start counting backwards (as of yesterday it said I had 7 days left until my baby was due!?!?), but it TOOK THE BABY AWAY once it hit 41 weeks. I was looking at an empty womb when I checked it this morning and it creeped me out. So that ticker is fired.

There is a wee chance that I might be in early labor. Well, perhaps more than a wee chance. I woke at 1:30 AM to pee and then had a hard time getting back to sleep as I was having painful cramps and back pain. I also felt really nauseous and ended up dry heaving a couple times (ahhh...the memories that brought back). Eventually I began having actual contractions, coming every 10 minutes or so. Husband woke up (probably from all my tossing & turning) and he did some acupressure and we listened to our relaxation CD. The contractions have continued through now, although I wouldn't say they are super regular.

Part of the reason I know that they are actual contractions is because I could see them when I was monitored for my non-stress test at my midwife appointment this morning. It was honestly such a great feeling to see that I was having actual contractions and not being extremely psycho-somatic. My internal exam also revealed that I've dilated another centimeter. Official cervix stats are 3 cm dilated, 80% effaced, baby at -1 to 0 station. I'll take any additional progress as it means a quicker labor in the end. The midwife also swept my membranes, which can help push labor along. I wouldn't have had them do it sooner, but time is of the essence at this point.

So the plan for now is to see what happens today or tomorrow. If labor doesn't start, I will have another midwife appointment on Thursday and I am scheduled to be induced on Friday. All the midwives & nurses say they will be surprised if I get to that point, though.

Keep sending those labor vibes my way - I think they're helping!

40 Weeks, 6 Days

2009-05-25T17:33:00.004-05:00

Week 72 40 Belly Shot

Lordy, I'm a moody preggy these days. But really, can you blame me? I'm honestly trying my hardest to stay upbeat and positive but it's truly a struggle. It's hard to keep mentally relaxed and positive when your physical body just will not give you a moment's rest from the situation. [Oh wait...isn't that what a med-free labor will be in a nutshell?]

Anyway, about the moodiness: I'm up and down and around and around and am feeling more than just a little bit crazy. I suspect that hormone levels have continued to climb and/or change as I approach the end of pregnancy, which isn't doing me any favors. Poor Husband. He is so helpless as to what he can do. And really, there isn't anything he can do, but be there for me. But it can't be fun for him when I spontaneously burst into big snuffly tears apropos of nothing on a walk.

So there are the mental challenges and then there are the physical challenges. Physically speaking, I'm finding myself more uncomfortable with each passing day. I suppose that is simply a part of late pregnancy as the baby just continues to grow. Le sigh. Y'all should see my feet and cankles. The swelling has reached an all time high. I have feet that look like they are filled with pudding - I'd estimate a full snack-pack's worth per foot and the pudding-ness actually feels JIGGLY as I walk. It's disgraceful.

Since I'm a little coo coo for cocoa puffs today, Husband gave me the option to opt out of having his parents over for dinner so that I could just relax (Husband took them out to dinner & a movie, instead). I feel a little bad for not game facing, but at the same time, I'm not really fit for socializing what with the pudding feet and the weeping and all.

So I'm taking it easy on my own this evening and that is a good thing. I bought myself an US Weekly and ate mac & cheese with a caprese salad for dinner (thanks for the mac & cheese suggestion Brady Balouga!). I'm going to chill a bit on the induction techniques, because I'm pretty sure they won't sway Bella's decision on when to come. I have, however, scheduled an acupuncture appointment (GAH - $100) for Wednesday evening as a final push to get Bella to make an au natural appearance.

In the meantime - can you all send some labor vibes my way? I just really, really want to meet my baby girl and get started with the next chapter of my life.

40 Weeks, 5 Days

2009-05-24T13:44:00.002-05:00

Natural Induction Methods Attempted So Far:

Walking - over 20 miles in the past week
Bouncing on my birthing ball
Eggplant Parmesan
Spicy Mexican Food
Spicy Thai Food
Spicy Indian Food
Sex
Evening Primrose Oil
Raspberry Leaf Tea
Nipple Stimulation
Forcing Husband to go over potholes in the road
Running
Acupressure (though this has only been a half-hearted attempt thus far)
Yoga
Visualization
Pineapple - in spite of a mild allergy to it

Number of babies I've birthed as a result of these efforts: 0

Methinks I'm going to have a baby with a mind of her own. Just like her mama.

40 Weeks, 4 Days

2009-05-23T21:01:00.003-05:00

Not much to report. Bun is still firmly in the oven and I am officially a gestation sensation.

Do I get extra credit for doing extra time while pregnant?

No? NOT FAIR.

40 Weeks, 3 Days

2009-05-22T16:41:00.004-05:00

My midwife visit went just fine today. The non-stress test revealed a very active baby, in fact, Bella kept wiggling away from the monitor, so that is good. No change in my cervix, but the midwife said she would have been surprised if there had been any as this is my first baby. She also estimated that Bella is between 7.5-8.5 lbs, which is actually smaller than I would have thought. I was preparing myself for a 9-10 lb hefty baby. My "roomy pelvis" can handle an 8-pounder just fine!

After the midwife visit we went to get the ultrasound. Unfortunately, I don't have any good pictures, because it's hard to get a good image at this point. There is just too much baby and her head was too low in my pelvis. The ultrasound technician was able to determine that there is still plenty of amniotic fluid, so there is no concern there. Other fun facts include the fact that Bella had a full bladder at the time of the ultrasound (babies continually drink the amniotic fluid and pee it out - don't judge my pee-drinking baby!) and that Bella looks to have a full head of hair. Isn't that crazy? She will have hair!

Oh - one more thing was pointed out. Bella is still definitely a girl. I have to say I was a little worried that previous ultrasounds may have gotten it wrong and my baby is a wee little boy. Husband and I had prepared ourselves for the possibility and even came up with a stellar back-up name last night on our walk: Chauncey Crackers. I guess we'll just have to save Chauncey Crackers for another baby. Now don't any of you steal that name!

All in all, I'm feeling a lot better today. I'm more comfortable with where I'm at and I know that I'll have a baby in my arms at some point by the end of May. Besides, getting myself all worked up about not being in labor would probably only serve to push labor off even further as my body would not want to deliver a baby in the midst of a [perceived] stressful environment. So I spent my day napping, embroidering another onesie, and cleaning up the kitchen - you know, just being a lady of leisure (minus the kitchen cleaning part). Tonight Husband and I will get some spicy Chipotle and watch a movie and eat cake for dessert. It's a nice spring day and I'm having a baby in the next week - what's not to be happy about?

40 Weeks, 2 Days (Later)

2009-05-21T17:41:00.002-05:00

I'm feeling a little better now, largely thanks to the walking I've done today. I covered nearly 8 miles between two separate walks. 8 MILES. If they say walking induces labor, well then by golly, walk I shall.

I was also moved by the spirit of Forrest Gump mid walk with Husband and began to run. I could practically hear Jenny yelling after me, "Run Preggy, run!" I only made it a quarter of a mile before my boobs cried "uncle", but that's not too shabby at 10 months pregnant and having not run in months. What was most shocking (and encouraging) was that it wasn't that hard to run. It makes me think I'll get back into running much more quickly than I thought. I had figured I'd only be able to run a block or so to start.

Shall we pause for a moment to reflect on how I must have looked while running? Make that running while holding onto my boobs. [Patiently waiting while you all visualize.] Yes, a sight to see indeed.

One other thing that is fighting the Debbie Downer inside me is that I get another ultrasound at my midwife visit tomorrow morning. Since I will be 41 weeks tomorrow according to the midwife's [wrong] calculations, they do a non-stress test and an ultrasound to make sure everything is still A-OK for baby in the womb. So even if I don't get to meet my baby on the outside in the next day, Husband and I will get another peek at baby on the inside. I'll be sure to post the lovely blurry ultrasound photo for you all to see.

Well, either a blurry ultrasound photo or perhaps a photo of a REAL OUTSIDE BABY. Whichever comes first. Please let it be the real outside baby, please...

40 Weeks, 2 Days

2009-05-21T09:58:00.002-05:00

Someone call the Whaaaaambulence, please. I'm about to have a meltdown.

I feel like I'm permanently stuck in one of those sumo wrestler suits.
My back hurts.
I can't sleep at night.
I get cramps ALL THE TIME now, but they refuse to become proper contractions.
Sitting up hurts.
Laying down hurts.
Going up and down stairs hurts.
I really and truly cannot bend over anymore.
I pee. And then I pee again. And again. And, would you looky here, yet again. There is never-ending peeing!
And so on and so forth. Blah, blah, blah.

GAH. I'm feeling really frustrated. It doesn't help that for the past two days the high temperatures were 97 and 94. Dude, I wasn't supposed to be pregnant during super hot weather. Minnesota is broken. Curses to it all. Not only do I feel like I'm wearing a sumo wrestler suit; I feel like I'm wearing it in a tropical land.

Patience is a virtue and I'm sorely lacking in it right now. My Mom reminded me yesterday of the time when I got bored at a stop light. I get impatient at stop lights!! I'm beyond impatient with this situation.

Plus, I'm feeling extra aware of all the travel plans and events that will have to be changed or perhaps not attended as the baby's birthday gets pushed back farther and farther. My in-laws are scheduled to leave on the 26th, but will have to extend their trip if the baby has not come by then. And my Mom is scheduled to come and stay with us on the 27th to help with the baby, but she might end up coming before the baby even arrives. As much as I love my Mom, I'd prefer to not labor at home with her here, as I know she will get really nervous about me waiting as long as possible to go to the hospital (something that will be done to decrease the possibility for medical interventions). Ack. I feel like all my plans are being foiled. Which is ridiculous of me, because THESE THINGS CAN'T BE PLANNED. [Insert maniacal laughter here.]

Anyway, I'm struggling. The weather should cool off, so that will help, but beyond that there isn't much I can do but keep waiting it out and distracting myself as best as possible (which, by the way, check out Glee on Hulu - FAB). So, in that vein, any more lady of leisure ideas for me? Keep in mind that these need to be activities that can be done while wearing a sumo wrestler suit.

40 Weeks (Later)

2009-05-19T21:24:00.004-05:00

Scene from a Movie Theater

A woman and her husband head to the local cheapie theater to take in a flick. The woman is 10 months pregnant and her womb is running out of room. She keeps shifting in her seat to try to find a comfortable position, but her trickster baby keeps shifting herself in utero causing further chair shifting in the woman.

Woman (leaning over to Husband and whispering): I need a bigger uterus.

Husband (distracted as he is watching the movie and can only focus on one thing at a time): Yes.

[The woman gets a sudden baby foot sticking out her side and slides up quickly to try to dislodge it. In the process of sliding up, she pulls her pants and underwear way down and is now in a preggy pickle of having major plumber's butt. It's not easy to swiftly and inconspicuously remedy such a situation at 10 months pregnant.]

Woman (leaning over to Husband and whispering): I pulled down my pants.

Husband (EXTREMELY alarmed but in a hushed whisper): YOU POOPED YOUR PANTS?!

Woman explodes in laughter and then suffers from emotional incontinence in the form of giggling for the rest of the movie.

[END SCENE]

**After the movie, Husband told me that he really thought I pooped my pants because I was looking all uncomfortable. Because I had had such an emotional day, he didn't want to make me feel judged or bad about it, but he was dreading trying to figure out how to get me out of the theater and home. And that makes me laugh all the harder. Woo! Love it.

40 Weeks

2009-05-19T12:14:00.002-05:00

Last night I had contractions coming every 8 minutes or so, but they disappeared after a few hours. I don't get it. Does practice labor get timetable like that? Or am I real crazy-like and having regular psychosomatic contractions?

I have to say, false labor is hard on me. It raises my expectations, along with Husband's, and leaves us feeling disappointed when it doesn't pan out. I've found myself oddly tearful today, prone to breaking out in dramatic sobbing fits (which has not been the norm at all) and I guess I'm just feeling frustrated. Which is ridiculous because I'm only at my due date today. It is not like I am over 41 weeks and the truth is that I could easily be pregnant for another week or more.

I might also be feeling a little over-tired after the graduation celebrations and lots of extended family time and the fact that I was up for three entire freaking hours last night (2 AM - 5 AM). Everything can start to look a little crazy when you are up in the middle of the night and desperate to fall back asleep.

So in spite of my fatigue this morning, I dragged myself to yoga and that has helped a bit. I stopped by Whole Foods and bought raspberry leaf tea and evening primrose oil to help me feel like I'm doing something proactive to nudge labor along. I also picked up a copy of Real Simple to read about getting organized, which will hopefully redirect the need to control into something practical. I'll take a nap this afternoon and then spend the evening with Husband. All these things should calm me down. I've waited nearly 10 months now to meet my baby, what is another few days or a week?

Just as I was about to post this, Husband called and said he would take me to whatever movie I want to see tonight. A rom-com and the kiddie snack tray (delightfully portioned soda, popcorn, and fun-sized candy) will be sure to put my Humpty Dumpty self back together again.

**You guys are cracking me up with how often you are checking the blog. My daily visits have gone from 40 a day to over 100. I feel like a celebrity!

39 Weeks, 6 Days

2009-05-18T19:53:00.003-05:00

Week 39 Belly Picture

Baby has continued to follow directions and we made it to graduation, which was great. Well, I wouldn't say that the actual graduation ceremony was great as that was boring and somewhat uncomfortable for me given the several pee breaks and needing to get up and down out of my aisle seat a bunch of times as other people in our row needed to use the restroom/take pictures. No, I mean it was great that Husband had his moment of closure. And a moment of glee:

After graduation we celebrated with a family lunch and cake. Mmm....cake.

Now that all important events and ceremonies are out of the way, it's 100% baby time. Aggressive use of natural induction techniques starts today. A few examples of natural induction techniques include:

Lots of walking
Spicy food
Eggplant Parmesan (we heard this one through our Hypnobirthing class)
Nipple Stimulation
Have sex
Use of evening primrose oil
Red raspberry leaf tea
Acupressure/Acupuncture

We are well on our way already as we just took a 4.4 mile walk and are eating Eggplant Parmesan for dinner. Plus something else, but I am a lady of mystery and fine breeding, so I won't say what it was. I'm having some contractions now, but who knows. Could just be cramping from the long walk with a touch of wishful thinking. And believe me, there is a lot of wishful thinking for labor at this point.

I want to meet my baby! Plus, I'm all for turning in assignments on time and there is a DOOZY of a due date tomorrow.

39 Weeks, 4 Days

2009-05-16T21:50:00.003-05:00

I successfully made it through Husband's graduation dinner without any signs of labor or water breaking. Whew! Now I just need to hang on another 36 hours until his actual graduation ceremony, which will take place on Monday at 9 AM.

Can we pause for a minute to question WHO HOLDS A GRADUATION ON A MONDAY AT 9 AM? Such ridiculousness. It's not like this is some random school, either. It's a nationally recognized MBA program at a large university. Tomfoolery, I tell ya.

Anyway, I'm glad Husband had his moment of glory as he was recognized for being the part-time MBA student of the year in addition to graduating with honors. Husband is the bomb-diggity.

While Husband was getting attention because of his scholastic superstar ways, I was getting some attention of my own. People cannot help but stare at the sheer size of me.

I do grow a bit weary of being a public spectacle. The attention I get feels akin to the attention one would get if you were wearing a clown suit in a non-clown public setting. Some people look delighted, others look unsure, and some look horribly frightened. But no matter what the emotional reaction they are having, they all have one thing in common: the staring.

So let's all do something for the very pregnant of the world. Next time you see one, give a little smile if you are so moved, but don't stare. Miss Manners thanks you.

Off to bed now for another night of "sawing logs", as Husband claims I've started doing in the past week. Miss Manners would also think it rude to tell a very pregnant woman that she is not the delicate flower she imagines herself to be. Sawing logs, indeed.

39 Weeks, 3 Days

2009-05-15T07:07:00.003-05:00

Turns out I'm the preggy who cried wolf (or should I say the preggy who cried baby?). The cramping/Braxton Hicks sort of disappeared after our walk yesterday and haven't come back since. So it really was just a day of practice labor. Gotta say, practicing labor is nearly as much fun as practicing viola was in the 8th grade.

Eh, I'm kidding. It wasn't painful physically, more just challenging mentally. Oh wait, maybe I'm not kidding about the viola comparison, then. Hee. No, I was simply getting really excited for the process to begin and now I'm reining my brain back in to the idea of being a lady-of-leisure for who knows how many more days.

And really, I would now like to hold off labor until at least Saturday night at 9 pm. You see, Husband will be individually honored at an important MBA graduation dinner Saturday night and it's so important to me that he is able to go and get this recognition. If I'd had the baby yesterday, he could have gone for at least a bit, albeit without me, but if I go into labor later today or tomorrow there would be a good chance he couldn't sneak away. Now, of course, whatever happens, happens and life will work out just fine. But it would be good for him to have his night of glory. So hopefully I can be by his side at the dinner tomorrow night in full super-pregnant glory along with the rest of his family (my in-laws arrived for a two week stay yesterday afternoon). And I also hope that my water doesn't decide to break with a big splash on Saturday night in front of everyone. That would perhaps take the attention away from Husband...

KER-SPLASH!

39 Weeks, 2 Days (Later)

2009-05-14T14:08:00.003-05:00

I had another internal exam at my midwife appointment today and I'm now 2+ cm dilated and 80% effaced (I was 1-2 cm dilated and 50% effaced last week). The baby remains at -1 station, which surprised me, but the midwife said that's pretty normal prior to active labor. Regardless of the baby not technically dropping lower, my cervix continues to bloom like a flower in the spring. Poetic, no? Yeah, you're right. It's a little creepy. Creepy bloomy cervix.

Other than bloomy cervix info, the appointment was non-eventful. It's still not clear if I'm in early labor or just having a day full of practice contractions. The cramping that I am feeling is not easily time-able, so I just have to wait and see. If it's not going to develop into true labor then I'm having a really off day. The best way I can describe it continues to be that I feel like I'm about to get my period and that it's going to be a doozy.

Husband and I will go for our walk later today. We'll see if that shakes things up. If not...well, I'm not going to lie, I'm going to be disappointed. I want mah baby!

As always, I'll keep you all posted.

39 Weeks, 2 Days

2009-05-14T06:43:00.004-05:00

I am seriously clueless as to whether I'm in early labor or not. Ah...to be a first time Mom.

Symptoms indicating probable labor: back pain (which is unusual for me), enough cramping to keep me from sleeping and requiring deep breaths at times, increased pelvic pain as though the baby is reallllly low (Shorty got low, low, low, low...), and I am grunting and groaning every time I get up or move. Oh wait, that last one isn't a new symptom.

Symptoms that indicate "practice" labor: I'm able to blog, take and upload pictures, and use Photoshop.

So who knows? Seriously, who knows? Are you there God? It's me, Preggy. Am I having a baby today!?

One other sign:
The deepest belly button in the world (actual comment that has been made to me in the past) is managing to poke through my shirt.

I have my midwife appointment at 1 pm today. So in the event that I'm still completely clueless as to my labor status in five hours, that should clear things up.

39 Weeks, 1 Day

2009-05-13T19:38:00.002-05:00

I lost a little bit of my mucus plug this evening. (!!!!) For those of you who don't know what a mucus plug is, well, you are in for a treat as I explain it to you! Basically, the mucus plug is a little cork of mucus that forms early in your pregnancy and acts as a seal for your cervix to keep baby protected from germs. So it is quite literally a plug made of mucus. Yum!

And if you would like to learn more, I would strongly advise you to avoid googling "mucus plug" unless you want to die a little inside. In fact, let me make that very clear: AVOID GOOGLING MUCUS PLUG. You see, some people like to take pictures of their mucus plugs - fishing it out of the toilet and setting it on the side of the tub for all the world to see. And Google is kind enough to make sure that image pops right up. Because I am kind, I am giving you a nice, safe NON-VISUAL link that will give you more info about mucus plugs.

Now the fact that I lost the mucus plug does not necessarily mean I'm going into labor tonight or tomorrow. But I am having a lot of cramping/Braxton Hicks tonight, especially after Husband and I did our 4 mile loop. And the baby seems to have dropped even further, causing me to pee every 2.5 seconds.

With all these labor signs building up it's decreasing my patience. I'm starting to want to get this show on the road NOW, but that's just going to make the time crawl. So must practice patience and it's a virtue and blah, blah. I'll keep you all posted if things change...

39 Weeks

2009-05-12T16:52:00.005-05:00

I've never been a person to keep my surroundings immaculate. I often wished I had a touch of OCD that would help give me the energy to do the dishes immediately after dinner or keep the laundry from piling up, but it just isn't a part of my DNA. That is, it wasn't until now...

Pregnancy-induced nesting has made me into a freaky domestic goddess. Yesterday it had me vacuuming out my car and wiping down the consoles, a task which I've historically completed...wait for it...NEVER. I scrubbed out recycling bins at 8 AM this morning, after doing two loads of laundry and a sinkful of dishes. It's crazy, people. How do I make this last? Or will the nesting instinct disappear shortly after the birth along with my other pregnancy symptoms like my chronically stuffy nose and reflux?

In addition to nesting, I'm doing excellent work with my lady of leisure activities. Pedicure, prenatal massage, naps, meeting friends, going to yoga, walking daily, going to the farmer's market and reading have all been accomplished. Tomorrow's agenda includes planting an herb garden. However, one very important lady of leisure activity has not yet been completed: eat cupcakes.

I remedied this today! I bought one cupcake for me and one for Husband from my favorite cupcake destination: Cupcake Cafe. To keep Bella from feeling left out I embroidered her a cupcake onesie.

Yeah, that's right. I did that today in between the household chores, yoga, walking, napping, and meeting a friend for lunch. I TOLD you I was a freaky domestic goddess.

Didn't I read somewhere that increased nesting behaviors can indicate impending labor?

[Husband's editorial comment: She's also been a task-master :) I came home from finishing three year's of hard work to find a Honey-do list that competed with the unabridged works of William Shakespeare. Not too bad for someone who has a hard time sitting still for too long, though.]

[Wife's editorial comment on Husband's editorial comment: HATE the phrase "Honey-do" list. HATE. I hereby veto the use of that phrase!]

38 Weeks, 6 Days

2009-05-11T17:57:00.007-05:00

Week 38 Belly Picture

Being nearly 39 weeks pregnant has made me the clumsiest disaster. I keep running into doors, stubbing my toes, and scraping my belly along things as I have no sense of my physical being anymore. In fact, Husband has mandated that I must sit down when putting on my underwear. He was getting freaked out by my gigantic, tippy frame trying to aim a leg into the leg hole and only succeeding after several tries.

I'm starting to get really excited for labor, which might sound sort of crazy. I imagine I'd feel the same way if I were about to run a marathon that I'd spent months training for. I know my body is going to be pushed to the extreme and challenged in a way that it has never been challenged before, but how fantastic and exhilarated am I going to feel on the other end? Maybe all my Hypnobirthing practice and affirmations are paying off and are helping me to approach labor and delivery in a very positive light.

Speaking of labor, I'm getting a lot more Braxton Hicks contractions and I have been feeling a lot of cramping. If I weren't pregnant, I would suspect that my period was coming. My boobs are sore, too. That could be unrelated to anything but them growing again. CEASE AND DESIST BOOBS! I might not be scared of labor, but I'm scared of my boobs. Another sign that labor might be coming is that Bella seems to have shifted a bit and she seems to be lined up in the "proper" birth position (head down in pelvis, facing my back). Stay tuned...this might be the week!

Finally hitting me hard! (Husband-style guest post #2)

2009-05-09T22:15:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, I finished my last deliverable for my MBA. It was a final presentation of a medical device our team had been working on for the last 9 months given to executives at a large, multinational medical device firm headquartered in Minneapolis (not too obvious, right?). Anyway, once I was finished with the presentation and we were getting feedback on it, which was very positive, I suddenly realized that I was done with three grueling, ass-kicking years of hard work. A flood of emotions came over me and, as I was exhausted from not having slept very much the past few days, I wasn't as resilient as I might normally.

One of the execs was speaking and I was looking right at him but wasn't hearing anything he was saying. I was fighting back the urge to start crying...for so many reasons but the main reason was because for the last three years and especially these last 9 months, I'd been preoccupied. Preoccupied with the dream of accomplishing more than I could ever imagine was possible. I wanted it all, so to speak. I was working full time, going to school full time, leading student groups and managing my own business. I, of course, made time for Laura but looking back I knew that I wasn't always completely present for her and at other times I was irritable and hard to be around. Realizing it wasn't possible to expect to be 100% present 100% of the time, I still felt like I missed some of her pregnancy and for what? the chance to prove something to myself? OK, point made but now, as I was sitting in this meeting, realizing that sometime as early as the next hour to as late as three weeks from now I was going to be holding our baby girl in my arms, I totally lost sight of this drive, this focus and in the midst of a very important meeting regarding the culmination of my work! Instead, I was totally overwhelmed with the profound mix of emotions that I've only experienced since I've become a 'father': a strange mix of intense joy, fear, peace and anxiety. During it, though, my mind became quite clear, it was truly a moment of clarity and a priceless gift was delivered to me.

Did I care that these executives thought that our team had done a good job on this project? Yes. Would I love to be offered a job to continue to champion the project within the firm and lead it to market launch? Yes but if it meant also being preoccupied and not truly engaged in witnessing Arabella's development and not feeling completely present for her the answer was a resounding: NO, thanks. I knew then that I was made to be a Dad because as long as I knew that Laura and Bella were my priorities and that ultimately their happiness would be the best gauge of my success, everything was going to be OK...more than just OK, everything would be as it should be. I just need to learn (quickly) how to turn the career switch off at the end of the day and turn the husband and Dad switch on. Somehow, I have the feeling that meeting Bella's gaze at the end of each day will be that switch.

[Wife's Addendum: Without a doubt, Husband has been great during this pregnancy and throughout our life together. I'm lucky to have him and I'm so happy that he will be the father of my children.]

38 Weeks, 4 Days

2009-05-09T11:25:00.006-05:00

It turns out that the third trimester is nowhere near as hard and/or miserable as I thought it would be. I've heard women comparing the third trimester to the first trimester in terms of feeling awful, but that has not been the case for me. True, I'm not feeling great (symptoms at large include the constant puddle of reflux in my throat, inability to sleep through the night, and rather painful pressure on the lady bits), but I generally feel fine. I can take long walks once more (which I've figured out is due to the baby dropping and giving me my lung capacity back), I have kept up on household chores without too much of a struggle, and I don't have any feelings of not being able to take one more day of being pregnant. I feel so much better now than I did in the first trimester. In fact, when I think back to the first trimester I still shudder in horror. The thought of fall weather brings on nausea because I was sick all fall. I can no longer eat yogurt and orange juice at breakfast because of the memories of them coming up in reverse (which tastes disturbingly like an Orange Julius). Even certain songs that I listened to during the first trimester trigger a mild gag reflex. Everything from that time is now viewed with puke-colored glasses.

Anyway, let's not rehash the wonders of the first trimester (except for this particular puking event, which was a gold star moment) and instead focus on the present. I feel pleasantly surprised at how completely functional I still am at a week and a half away from my due date. And the worst case scenario has me pregnant for only 3 more weeks or so. I can definitely handle it.

Now, related to nothing other than my need to overshare: Taco Bell's Nachos Supreme with a side of Pintos n' Cheese for lunch is a bad, bad (read: gassy and stomach pain inducing) idea. Let's hope I don't go into labor tonight because I would rather not have a fruity, tooty labor.

38 Weeks, 2 Days

2009-05-07T18:20:00.002-05:00

The hospital bag is packed with the exception of the items that I'm currently using. And those items are all listed so Husband can easily grab them before we go to the hospital. Yay, boring task completed.

I opted to get an internal exam at my midwife appointment today just to satisfy my curiosity. It was far less painful this time and I learned that I'm currently 1-2 cm dilated, 50% effaced, and the baby is still hanging out at -1 station. Dilation refers to the opening of the cervix, effacement refers to the thinning of the cervix, and the station is how far the baby's head is down in your pelvis. Now, this doesn't really mean anything other than the fact that my body continues to prepare for birth. I could give birth tomorrow or I could give birth in three weeks. But it's nice to know that my body continues to do exactly what it is supposed to.

Next on my to-do list is getting my music all set up for laboring. In addition to my usual relaxation and meditation tracks, I added a couple CDs of nature sounds and neutral "spa" type music. Any other ideas? Besides a little Salt-n-Pepa "Push It"?

38 Weeks, 1 Day (Later)

2009-05-06T18:34:00.004-05:00

So the cleaning lady? Not so helpful. She took over 90 minutes to clean the bathroom. 90 MINUTES. It's a small bathroom, people, and I can assure you it wasn't in a state of filth when she started. I was so bummed. Husband has said if she was doing a good job I could have her stay an extra hour or two and finish the whole house. But she sucked and it would have taken her 20 years to finish other rooms so my house remains mainly unclean aside from the bathroom. Looks like there is some mopping and vacuuming in Husband's & my future.

While that was a disappointment, my other appointments today were great. We were finally able to interview the pediatrician and it was a great success. He and his partner just had twins 8 weeks ago so he is going through the baby phase himself, which I think will be useful. He spent 30 minutes with us, answering questions and generally getting to know each other. I had expected 15 minutes, tops. You could tell he loved his job. I'm looking forward to working with him.

Last appointment of the day was getting the car seat installed. I'm so glad I hunted down an appointment, because it turns out we had installed it wrong. PSA Moment: Did you know that any object in the car can potentially be very dangerous if you get in an accident? That means anything from leftover water bottles lurking in the backseat to your purse on the seat next to you. Adding "clean car" to the to-do list.

The hospital bag is still not packed. I know, I know, I know. I KNOW! It appears there are some psychological issues preventing me from doing the task. On the other hand, it could simply be sheer laziness as I have a full and detailed list of what to pack, culled together from 3 sources and reviewed carefully by yours truly. One would think that a deep seated fear would probably have prevented me from pondering what clothes I'm OK with getting ruined from the blood. Yes...BLOOD. I'll pack the bag tonight. Or tomorrow at the latest. Or maybe...

38 Weeks, 1 Day

2009-05-06T05:04:00.003-05:00

The bun is still tucked firmly in the oven, just in case anyone was wondering. And the hospital bag is still unpacked.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I am clearly tempting fate and playing a risky game. What was more important last night? Oh, that would be a craft project. Embroidery trumps hospital preparedness!

I'll pack it this morning since I'm going to be hanging out at home while a cleaning lady comes for two hours.

Say what? Yes! A cleaning lady is coming. It's my Christmas present from my Sister-in-law and I've saved it until now. I am certain I'll feel all sorts of awkward lurking around the house while she is scrubbing my shower, but the end result will be worth it. Plus, how lady-of-leisure is having a cleaning lady!

I might not be taking packing the hospital bag seriously enough, but I am taking being a lady of leisure very, very seriously.

38 Weeks

2009-05-05T21:10:00.002-05:00

I'm happy to see that the one person who voted that Bella would arrive before 38 weeks was wrong. That would have been a little too early for my taste. So now we will wait and see if the three people who voted for her to come this week are right.

Speaking of her coming this week, I'm having some cramping/contractions right now. I don't THINK they are anything significant, although I haven't felt much in the way of Braxton Hicks up to this point so it's hard to completely dismiss them as insignificant. It could be related to the fact that I've taken a four mile walk the past two days. Physically I have been feeling really good while walking so Husband and I resumed our old loop around the river. And, I have to tell you, it has felt AWESOME to do something that feels like a real workout. True, I am used to either running that loop or walking it very briskly, but 4 miles at a slower walking pace is still 4 miles.

Anyway, back to these maybe contractions. They are hurting a bit, much like a period cramp and I'm feeling them lower in my belly. I logged on to contractionmaster.com to try timing them, but I can't pinpoint any distinct start or finish time so I don't think this is anything more than "practice" labor or good old-fashioned Braxton Hicks.

Poor Husband, though. This little incident tonight has shaken him up a bit. He is a bit wide eyed and asking if we should call the doula or take care of some last minute things (like, uh, packing the hospital bag which I've been mysteriously avoiding doing). I know he'll be awesome during labor and delivery, but I think it's hard for him to have to be on the sidelines rather than physically experiencing it along with me. He kept asking what the cramps felt like and what was going on.

Finally, I had a prenatal massage today and it was fantastic. My doula is also a massage therapist and she includes the massage as part of her doula package. The best part about the massage was getting to lie on my stomach for 30 minutes. You see, they make these special massage tables with removable pieces where the belly and boobs go. GENIUS! Wish I had one to sleep on every night. Can you imagine what it must look like from underneath the table, though?

Picture it. Live it. Love it.

37 Weeks, 6 Days

2009-05-04T10:48:00.002-05:00

Week 37 Belly Picture

I feel like the baby has dropped, because my ability to take in oxygen has improved 150%. Plus there's the compelling evidence of my recent increase in peeing and also the pressure on my lady bits. Yeah, I said that. Pressure on my lady bits.

Husband updated the belly collage last night. Once baby is here I will put together a video slide show of the belly growing.

Click to enlarge.

So far maternity leave is going very well. It's only been two hours, but I would say I highly prefer it to working (shocker!). I did, however, feel the need to go somewhere and do something around 9 AM (my normal work day start time) so I headed to Target. Two women there told me that their babies came early. Like weeks 35-38 early. Hmmm....

This not knowing when something HUGE and EXCITING and LIFE CHANGING is going to happen is crazy. Imagine if someone told you that your life was going to be turned upside down sometime in the next four weeks and it was probably going to hurt a lot and exhaust you, but you will be thrilled at the same time. Wouldn't you feel all itchy to know the specifics of WHEN? It's like trying to prepare for an earthquake (a happy earthquake that brings you a bundle of joy). You can take your breakables off the shelves, but that's about all you can do. I'll try not to dwell on it, but I do find myself questioning every cramp and twinge. It's sort of like being back to the time of wondering if you are pregnant - you know, when every real or imagined symptom seems extra significant.

Promise I'll not dwell on the unknown too much. Besides, all that dwelling would get in the way of my lady of leisuring and we certainly can't have that. There are pedicures to be had, naps to be taken, and cupcakes to be eaten!

37 Weeks, 5 Days

2009-05-03T20:02:00.006-05:00

The nursery is finished! Wahoo! I was finally able to pin Husband down to hang up the wall letters and picture frames this weekend. [Husband had requested to do the work himself since he is quite the fussy-pants when it comes to hanging things on walls.]

[Husband's editorial comment: I just like straight lines and proper spacing. You could call it 'fussy' or you could call it... I don't know: 'correct.']

I feel good about how the nursery turned out. It's not perfect, but it feels light and airy and will work just fine.

Wall Letters

Changing Table and Framed Pictures of the Mamas

Close-up of the Mama Photos. From L to R: My Mom, Me, Husband's Mom

Bookshelf & Futon

Every baby needs a treadmill...
Closet

So there you have it. Bella probably won't be sleeping in the nursery for a few months, but it's good to know that it's all done. The nesting mama in me loves having it complete.

37 Weeks, 3 Days (Later)

2009-05-01T20:20:00.000-05:00

Because I'm inappropriate like that...

37 Weeks, 3 Days

2009-05-01T15:30:00.003-05:00

I am now officially a 'lady of leisure' as I finished the last day of my job today. While I can write that and comprehend on the surface that I'm done, my brain has yet to really understand the concept. It was weird to wrap things up and then walk away without my office key, laptop, or work cell. Even weirder is the fact that I couldn't really tell people that I wasn't coming back.

Yeah, you read that last sentence correctly. I gave my job a very respectable 8 weeks notice and then my boss turns around and asks me to pretend that I'm going on maternity leave and am still coming back to work. She did allow me to tell the truth to a couple of closer co-workers and apparently she informed some other higher-up staff members, but I never really found out who knew and who didn't. So I've had to keep lying to people this whole time. "Oh, when am I returning from maternity leave? Uh...August!" The biggest reason I gave 8 weeks notice in the first place was to avoid feeling like a liar. I don't like lying! It makes my pants light on fire. Anyway, this situation was just the tip of the iceberg when it came to the dysfunction of my former workplace.

In truth, I'm sure I could have put my foot down and refused to play their game about my maternity leave, but I just didn't feel like fighting it. They are leaving the door open to me to come back if I want in August and given the financial climate (don't want to say the 'e' word) it seems smart to leave my options open. But the chances of me going back lie somewhere around 0.0004%.

Anyway, I'm feeling a little more conflicted and a little less elated than I thought I would. I think, in the end, I really wanted to love this job and I didn't, which was such a disappointment. I'm excited to be a stay-at-home mom, but I need to do more than just that. I need exciting things to challenge me and keep me engaged in life beyond baby. It will be good for me, good for Husband, and good for Bella for me to maintain some sort of professional career, whether that be in dietetics or some other area. So I suppose my conflicted mood is because I'm wondering about the color of my parachute.

Thank goodness that I'm now a lady of leisure and have some time to assess parachute colors and all that other good stuff. And you KNOW that by Monday morning, when it's 8 AM and I'm leisurely sipping a decaf latte on the couch with no need to get my butt anywhere I will have easily made the move from conflicted to elated.

Disclaimer: I hope it goes without saying, but I know I am so very, very lucky to even be in the position where I can leave a job that left me feeling less than satisfied in order to raise my babe. I appreciate my life and I know I have it good and I hope it doesn't seem that I take it for granted. I'm merely in a moment of self-reflection about the direction my life is taking.

37 Weeks, 2 Days

2009-04-30T17:37:00.004-05:00

Midwife appointments are quicker than ever these days now that I'm down to weekly appointments. Weight check (insert frown-y face here), blood pressure check, brief "How are you doing?" chat, measure my belly, check the baby's heartbeat on the Doppler, and we are done. I could have opted to have another internal exam this week, but the thought of having some painful lady bit poking and prodding for some not terribly useful information wasn't my bag. Call me crazy. [Internal exams prior to going into labor provide subjective information about if you are dilated and/or effaced, but they cannot give you specific information on when you might go into labor.] One fabulous piece of news from today's midwife appointment is that I'm negative for Group B Strep. This means no IV antibiotics during labor and delivery. Another line to cross off the potential worries list.

One thing that does linger on the potential worries list? The pain-in-the-ass infant car seat installation. The little instruction book is all confusing and my car is confusing and I'm paranoid that Husband and I did it wrong due to all the confusion. I get the impression that most other states have a good number of resources available to help you determine if you installed it correctly, but Minnesota and Minneapolis in particular SUCKS. Minneapolis has one clinic with a long waiting list. The clinic is only offered once each month for three hours and each appointment takes 40 minutes. Therefore 4.5 people can be seen each month. Minneapolis has a population of 377,000 or so. DO THE MATH!

So I did what any pregnant woman with a tendency towards neuroses does - I called all the other car seat inspection clinics in other cities and counties until I found someone who would take me. So right now my new city crush is Fridley, Minnesota. Big kiss and a flirty wink to you, Mr. Fridley, for squeezing me in next week in spite of your preference to not take non-Fridley residents. And there is no charge, which is more than I can say for certain cities (I'm looking at you St. Louis Park and Richfield). So good, good. I'll be reassured that wee Bella is safe in her car seat. Too bad I can't say the same for my driving abilities...

One last worry: Does anyone else feel like a fine layer of swine flu is covering everything they touch? No? Just me? Hm.

37 Weeks, 1 Day

2009-04-29T07:13:00.003-05:00

Finally caught some belly movement footage on camera!

Alien Baby from Laura on Vimeo.

37 Weeks

2009-04-28T17:55:00.003-05:00

I'm 37 weeks today, which means full term. Baby is pretty much done cooking and will spend the remainder of her womb-time fattening up. It's nice to know that a preterm baby can be crossed off the potential worries list.

In addition to counting down the days until my due date (that would be 21 days), I'm counting down the days until I'm done with work. And guess what? I ONLY HAVE 3 MORE DAYS! The finish line is in sight. WOO-HOO!

My boss made some comment today about how the time will go soooo slow once I'm done with work. But honestly? I am 99.9% certain that I will not be the type of person to wish that I had work to distract myself while I'm waiting for the baby. I am positive that being a lady of leisure (for a couple weeks anyway) will work out just fine for me. Sure, I might feel a little bored here and there, but I WANT to feel bored. I am OK with bored.

I've been pondering what I will do to fill my days. Now, if I were a true lady of leisure who had infinite funds at her disposal, I would spend my days doing hot yoga, eating sushi, and drinking wine. But since those things fall squarely in the not recommended category at the moment, I'm having to come up with alternative activities.

Lady of Leisure Activities

Nap
Start an herb garden
Cook gourmet meals
Go to the farmer's market
Nap
Take walks each day
Nap following walk
Go to yoga
Read childbirth and parenting books
Read frivolous books
Nap
Meet friends for breakfast or lunch
Eat cupcakes

Any other ideas for deliciously leisurely things to do to fill my days?

36 Weeks, 6 Days

2009-04-27T19:46:00.004-05:00

Week 36 Belly Picture

In the past week, the fact that I'm having a baby and having one soon became very real to me. I realized that it wouldn't be jumping the gun to install the infant car seat; rather, there was a very real need to get the seat installed in the car just in case. Same thing with washing six loads of baby clothes this weekend. It was not just a fun nesting project - I needed to get things washed because it's imperative that my baby is not naked all the time.

The last solid reminder that something is about to happen very soon? I now sleep on a bed that has puppy piddle pads lining my side underneath the sheets. No, not because my snissing has become desperately out of control. Piddle pads because my water might break in the middle of the night and I don't want an amniotic fluid-scented sleep number bed. [Oh, and BTW, the sleep number bed has been GREAT during pregnancy.]

Husband asked me yesterday if I'm ready for Bella to arrive. And I think I am. I've waited these long/short nine months to meet her and I was ready to be a mom for some time before that. I want to hold my baby girl in my arms and sing to her at night. I want to dance with her in the living room and kiss her tiny, perfect feet. I feel prepared to take on the challenges of sleepless nights and sore nipples and eventually the stress of raising a child in this sometimes scary world. So yes. I think I am ready. Good thing, since she theoretically could come any day now. It's all a bit surreal.

36 Weeks, 4 Days

2009-04-25T21:28:00.006-05:00

I enjoy dancing, whether it takes place at a wedding or in the comfort of my own home. I have told Husband several times that he can look forward to finding Bella and I having dance parties in the living room when he gets home from work. Even with my pregnancy, I still feel the urge to dance.

But lately I've noticed something amiss when I break out into random dances in front of family and friends. Their laughter feels more of the "at me" variety than the "with me" kind. But whatever would be the cause of this shift? I've felt so confused...

Or at least I did until my sister passed on the following advice, gleaned from a 1969 Vogue Book of Etiquette, which offers tips for pregnant women. They say that a pregnant woman can appear in public and dance and play sports, but . . .

"it can be somewhat tasteless to do so. She should remember that at this time she is apt to look awkward and even make others feel uncomfortable for her."

And also, in regards to dancing at parties . . .

"No matter how enthusiastic a dancer she is normally, an obviously pregnant girl should restrict herself to discreet steps. The sight of her trying out the latest dance steps could prove unsettling to everyone in the room, if not to the unborn baby."

Huh. To think my less than discreet dance steps have caused feelings of discomfort or awkwardness! I can't imagine.

Why don't you judge it for yourself? Here's a little clip of me and "special guest Jermaine" getting down to "She's so hot, BOOM" by Flight of the Conchords. I think I look nothing but tasteful and dignified.

Belly Dancing from Laura on Vimeo.

36 Weeks, 3 Days (Later)

2009-04-24T19:23:00.004-05:00

I've had a rather sudden onset of cankles with accompanying muffin top of the feet. It's terribly, terribly gross. [No worries, my medically inclined friends. I saw the midwife yesterday and showed her and she wasn't concerned. In fact, she said a lot of women have it worse.]

Wanna see how gross it is?

Now I don't have a before photo to show you, but please know that my feet normally do not look like marshmallows. And I've never had a problem with my flip-flop strap leaving a dent in my foot.

Ugh, I really don't like it. And I'm scared this is only the beginning of what is to come over the next four weeks.

But all is not lost. Because marshmallow shaped people can be cute, right?

36 Weeks, 3 Days

2009-04-24T06:35:00.003-05:00

Husband and I met with our doula twice this week. We had originally intended to meet with her on two separate weeks earlier this month, but other women decided to have their babies during both of those originally scheduled times so it was a no go. HOW RUDE! I shall return the favor to some other preggy and her partner sometime in the near future. (Kidding, obvs.)

Anyway, we met with the doula for what I can only call private birthing lessons by a birthing tutor. It's like Sylvan Learning Center - but for preggies! I continue to feel really good about the decision to hire a doula because she was able to walk us through the stages of labor and talk about it in great detail. It made it much more clear as the Hypnobirthing information about the actual laboring/birthing process is rather vague. She also had us watch a video of women giving birth, which made everything seem even more real to Husband and me.

Can I just say for the record that I hope I don't do anything totally coo coo during labor? Things like yodeling and rhythmic slapping of Husband? Because that's what the women on the video did. And, yes, yes, I KNOW it's fine to do these things, especially since I'm going the au natural route and will need to find ways to manage the intensity, but I'm just saying I'd rather not weird myself out during labor. I would rather be full of calm, zen breathing and not wild hooting and hollering. Just a preference, mmm K?

36 Weeks, 1 Day

2009-04-22T02:51:00.002-05:00

As I was doing my slow-mo roll over in bed the other night, a word suddenly popped into my head: TIMBER!

You know things have taken a turn for the rotund when your barely conscious brain digs around and throws you a word from your personal rarely-used-word bin. I turn over with the grace of a mighty oak crashing to the ground. BOOM! I blame it on the fact that I'm starting to feel all square and extra gigantic in the belly. Turns out you get a little more pregnant everyday. I know! Who knew?

With my bigger-everyday body, sleep is becoming trickier. Not impossible or anything, but for the first time I'm actually forced to put pillows between my legs to aid in the search for a comfortable position. Note that I said search. I'm still seeking...

Another forestry term that's working for me these days is lumbar. I lumbar about. Having to walk slow and waddle-y is driving me batty, especially since I tend to be a very fast walker by nature. Not to mention the fact that I don't even realize I'm waddling half the time. I'll think I'm walking all dainty-style and will self-congratulate on said daintiness and then someone will pull a sympathetic face and say "Oh...look! You're waddling". Dammit. If that looks like waddling to them, how ducky must I look when even I think I'm waddling?

So there you have it. I simultaneously resemble a tree and a duck. I'm fancy like that.

35 Weeks, 6 Days

2009-04-20T20:51:00.003-05:00

Week 35 Belly Picture

My belly has taken on more of an angular appearance as Bella spends most of her day sticking out one wee body part or another. The midwife confirmed she is head down so it is her legs that stick out at the top. I had already been pretty sure about her head down position since I only feel hiccups down low.

And here is a way too large front picture so you can see my linea negra. The red dot above my belly button is from where my belly button piercing was removed. My actual belly button is sticking out as far as it's going to go (I think), which is basically flat. There will be no outie for me.

As far as how I'm feeling? It goes up and down. I felt good most days last week, even walked 3 miles one day, but today I'm feeling exhausted. I suspect I'm coming down with a bug as I have an achy body, congestion, and my stomach is upset. Boo to being sick. But better it come now than 4 weeks from now.

Something else that is sick is my computer. BIG BOO, with a side of HISS! So I might not be able to blog as frequently as I would like until it is fixed. Let's all hope that everyone (me and the computer) is feeling better in the next couple days.

35 Weeks, 4 Days

2009-04-18T18:19:00.002-05:00

Can someone explain to me why I bought an adorable little baby quilt AND had it embroidered with Bella's name, only to find out that you are not supposed to put quilts in babies cribs?

Actual text from a tag attached to the quilt:

Remove pillows, quilts, comforters, pillow-like stuffed toys, and other pillow-like products from the crib when infants are sleeping.

AM SO CONFUSED. AM GULLIBLE CONSUMER.

But seriously - does the quilt become safe at some point? And if not, WTH! That is quite the racket the baby industry has going.

35 Weeks, 3 Days

2009-04-17T10:09:00.003-05:00

I used up the last of the milk last night when I had bowl of cereal. So this morning, I was a little sad that there was no milk to be had. Or at least, I thought there was no milk...

[Do you know where this is going?]

I noticed an odd spill on the front of the tank top I'd slept in. Something liquidy had dried in a most curious place. I tried to recall what I had so sloppily drank last night, but couldn't think of anything. And then I realized what had happened.

I'm officially a milk (technically colostrum) producing Mama! At least, my right boob is milk producing. Left boob is content just being big and ornamental for now.

People, it's weird. To have actual LIQUID coming from my boobs, enough to soak through a shirt, is mind boggling. I'm so glad I received some disposable nipple pads at my baby shower because I don't want to risk springing a leak at work. I feel very pubescent today, like I've just gone through a rite of passage and other people will be able to tell just by looking at me. I had to read the side of the box of the nipple pads to figure out how to put it on. And now I'm wearing a nipple pad. I'M WEARING A NIPPLE PAD! Weird.

Want to know what Husband said about it? He said it was like I had...

[you may want to look away from the computer to preserve your delicate sensibilities]

...a nocturnal emission.

Bwahahaha. A nocturnal emission. Hoo boy! Life just keeps getting more exciting every day.

35 Weeks, 2 Days

2009-04-16T19:21:00.002-05:00

Scene from a Doctor's Office

A woman and her husband are meeting with a midwife for the woman's monthly pre-natal appointment. She is nearly nine months pregnant. The midwife asks the woman to get undressed from the waist down and steps out of the room. The woman is in a dress. The woman stands up and begins to take off her underwear.

Husband: What are you doing!?

Woman: I'm getting undressed. What do you think I'm doing?

Husband: I don't know. It just seemed weird to whip off your underwear like that. [Pause.] Don't let your underwear hit the ground! Quick! It can't touch the floor!

[The woman awkwardly tries to prevent the dire situation of underwear touching the floor without completely losing her balance .]

Woman: What is so bad about the floor?

Husband: The MRSA! It's everywhere! It's all over hospitals!

Woman: Ah. Yes. The MRSA.

[The woman looks down at the underwear in her hand and folds it up into a tidy packet. She then tries to figure out where to put said underwear packet since she normally wears jeans or pants to such appointments which enables the tucking of underwear inside another article of clothing. She decides to hand the underwear packet to her Husband out of the simple desire to make him feel even weirder about the situation.]

Husband: What am I supposed to do with this!? [He looks left and right and then down at the underwear and begins to tuck it into his coat pocket, but changes his mind at the last minute and places it in the woman's purse. He has a look of disdain on his face.]

[The woman gets up on the exam table and unfolds the sheet to place over her lap.]

Husband: What is that!? What are you doing with that? Why is it just a sheet? Why don't they give you a gown? Men always get gowns. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

Woman dies of laughter at the sight of her normally unruffled Husband getting very, VERY ruffled.

[END SCENE]

35 Weeks, 1 Day

2009-04-15T04:15:00.002-05:00

I got hit on yesterday. At nearly 9 months pregnant. So does that make me a...PILF?

I was driving my car to a meeting and my friend/coworker, Heather, was in the passenger seat. It was a gorgeous spring day so we were driving with the windows down. We pulled up to a stoplight and I was jabbering away about something when Heather said, "That guy is staring you down". I look to my left and there in the van next to me is some guy ogling me. Blatent, creepy OGLING, people. The man's head was hanging out the window like a dog. [Damn you gigantic bosom!] He starts to say something and I say the first thing that pops into my head. "I'm pregnant".

The look on his face was priceless. He mumbled a "Good for you" and must have instructed the driver of the van to keep behind us the rest of the way up the street. Maybe he learned a lesson? Lessons like:

Big boobies might equal baby on board.
It is never a good idea to be a pervy guy riding in a van.
Don't ogle. It's not polite.

Now if someone had done all that and could easily see my gigantic basketball belly? Well, then I might have had to throw up everywhere. Ick.

35 Weeks

2009-04-14T08:43:00.002-05:00

It's my 35/35 today! I'm 35 weeks pregnant with 35 days to go. Huzzah! I thought I'd never get here...

Other accomplishments from this morning include putting on my compression nylons ALL BY MYSELF. Remember how I needed assistance from Husband in the past? Well, Husband had to leave for work in the wee hours of the morning so I was on my own. And I did it! Mind you, there was a great deal of grunting, heavy breathing, rest breaks, and some concerning squashing of the baby, but the task is completed and the crotch of the nylons is not hanging out around my knees. Woo hoo!

I find it interesting that as I'm nearing the point of the most intense responsibility of my life, I'm regressing when it comes to other tasks. I heap praise upon myself for things like, "I got dressed all by myself!" or "I slept through the night!" or "I just tied my shoes!" or "I didn't sniss myself just now!". It's all Freaky Friday-ish in the role reversal. Pregnancy has made me into a 2-year-old. And yet - how does that make any sense at all?

34 Weeks, 6 Days (Later)

2009-04-13T20:18:00.006-05:00

Week 34 Belly Picture

34 Weeks, 6 Days

2009-04-13T08:02:00.003-05:00

Wouldn't it be funny if someone came up to me and said, "I know what you did last summer..." with a serious nod towards my belly?

I gotta find me a preggy lady due in April or early May and do that to her. Preferably a stranger. Bwahahahaha.

Also: Hello there, Freddy Prinze Jr. Long time, no see!

Also also: Hello there, Jennifer Love Hewitt's breasts. (Come on! You noticed them, too! They take up half the poster what with their shadowy cleavage and all.)

34 Weeks, 4 Days

2009-04-11T06:38:00.002-05:00

I'm feeling a little behind on my Hypnobirthing practice. I have been doing my daily 20 minutes of guided meditation/relaxation, but not much beyond that.

Part of the problem is that the "homework" recommendations for Hypnobirthing are a bit obscure. For all the complaining I have done about rules during pregnancy, I could use some rules right now. Very specific rules about practicing that instruct how often, exactly what exercises, how many minutes to devote to practice each day, bare minimums, etc. And yes, I realize that very specific rules would go against the very nature of Hypnobirthing.

Another part of the problem is that I'm supposed to practice certain exercises with Husband. It's really tricky to try to add one more thing into our busy schedules (his more than mine). And it would be nice not to have to do it right before bed, because by then we are both exhausted.

So...I don't know. I think I might make myself a checklist of daily Hypnobirthing to-dos since I'm a checklisty sort of person. Sometimes I question just what a Type A personality like myself is doing trying to follow a very unstructured birth plan. But what would be a structured birth plan? A planned c-section? A scheduled induction? I know don't want that. So I'll try this middle of the road approach. The Type A approach to Hypnobirthing. Yes, indeed.

There is something else about Hypnobirthing that is causing me conflict. You see, with Hypnobirthing you are to attempt to avoid hearing any negative birth stories and keep your thoughts focused on the positive. The book and the class intentionally do not discuss medical interventions and also avoid the use of any medical terminology (there are no contractions in Hypnobirthing, only "surges"). My problem is that I'm finding it hard to walk the line between envisioning the birth I want and not setting myself up for great disappointment if things don't go as planned. For example, I envision naturally going into labor sometime in my 40th week. But realistically, I might not go into labor until the 41st week. And the midwives will want to induce me by 41 weeks, 2 days since they INSIST on going by my last menstrual period due date versus my ovulation due date*. So if I'm medically induced that would likely involve pitocin, which might very well set up a cascade of medical interventions. I need to figure out a way to reconcile the concept that there is the birth I want and then there is the way that life unfolds in an often unpredictable, messy way. Those two things might end up being one and the same or they might end up being very different from each other.

GAH. All I can do is breathe right? In, out, in, out - through the one functioning nostril given the constant pregnancy stuffiness. But honestly - how does one hope for the best, while staying realistic about what might happen without messing with the "positive thoughts only" concept of Hypnobirthing? Tricky, tricky.

*Can I just say the insistence of using a due date that matches my last menstrual period rather than my ovulation date drives me crazy, especially as I'm getting closer to the birth? I mean, I have PROOF of my ovulation date. Proof that I happily printed out for the clinic to put in my chart. And I'm the one who told them that 8/8/08 was my last menstrual period - couldn't I have gotten that wrong in my calendar? Why insist on one over the other? I will totally lie about my last menstrual period date in order to make it match my ovulation date for future pregnancies. It might make me feel all twitchy to be a liar pants, but lie I will!

34 Weeks, 3 Days

2009-04-10T03:12:00.003-05:00

It's getting hot in herre.

[No...not a typo. It's Nelly!]

I think I've finally reached a point in pregnancy where my body temperature is cranked up too high. I've been commenting to Husband each night as we go to bed that our bedroom is sooooo hot and isn't he warm, too? Yeah, not so much. So I've been sleeping with just a sheet covering me and that's pushing it a little.

I'm kind of glad that this is finally happening, because all winter people would say, "Oh, I bet you're not cold! You've got a little heater inside you" when it was 0°F and usually I was freezing just like everyone else. I felt like I wasn't doing pregnancy properly by not being all, "Woo! It's too warm!" and furiously shedding layers or merely needing a thick wool sweater to keep warm outside.

Of course, my newly elevated body temp means that I've taken to sweating profusely during work meetings. What's more professional than an 8.5 months pregnant lady with steam radiating from her person? Oh well, three more weeks and a day of that.

So that's one more pregnancy symptom to add to the list. What other exciting symptoms will emerge in the next six weeks? Maybe constipation and hemorrhoids? One can only hope...

Stream of Consciousness (Husband-style guest post)

2009-04-08T17:47:00.006-05:00

Since sometime in late August, when we first found out the news that we were indeed expecting a baby, I've been editing Laura's blogs and realizing more and more that I was going through a transformation, too. My transformation didn't involve growing a fetus or gaining weight or growing monstrous breasts. No; my transformation was much more subtle, more psychological but, at times, when Laura needed my help pulling on her stockings or putting on or taking off her shoes, etc. it was physical, too. I've realized I am responsible for someone, two people in fact, other than myself and I have to admit it kind of freaks me out. Regardless, I've been aware that something strange has been happening. I seem to be growing long, fibrous hair just inside my ear canal. Kidding but seriously, I'm becoming an adult...for real. I'm becoming a DAD! or I'm already a Dad, I guess. I mean I talk to this little girl who lives inside my wife's uterus and she kicks and spins and I can feel what I think is her side and back and occasionally her legs and feet. And, in about 6 weeks or so, I'm going to get to meet her and together Laura and I are going to be responsible for teaching her about this world that we live in. Thinking about this simultaneously overwhelms me and excites the hell out of me. The overwhelming part of it is that it brings out so many emotions all at the same time. I'm at once fearful that I won't be the Dad I want to be (and I don't really know what kind of Dad I want to be either) and yet I have this sense of peace and profound love, like she's going to fill a huge void in my life that I never even realized existed, just as her mother did. I feel like I'm just getting used to the vulnerability that love brings into your life (with Laura), how will I be able to handle something that will likely prove to be even closer to unconditional love? I feel like if I truly let myself explore the answer to this question, I would end up being (as Laura loves to say) 'inconsolable.' What a tremendously incredible journey this little person is going to take us on. How incredibly lucky we are to have her and each other. Ok, I'm starting to choke up a bit. More again later...I'm trying to warm into this role as a guest blogger, as I'll likely be the one to let you all know Laura and Bella's status once she arrives.

34 Weeks, 1 Day

2009-04-08T17:03:00.004-05:00

I think I spoke too soon when I said that I was feeling pretty good in my last post. I've been suffering from overwhelming fatigue the past few days. I initially thought it was simply a result of the social weekend I had, but now I'm thinking it's just the latest pregnancy symptom. Six more weeks of severe sleepies? Ugh, I hope not.

I don't know exactly how to verbalize just how fatigued I'm feeling, but imagine spending your day walking through jello. Now pretend that the jello seeped into your brain. Plus toss a bowling ball (or, uh, four given my weight gain) under your shirt. Now try to function. Yeah, not so much.

So forgive me that I don't have much to offer today. No witticisms or delightful tales of peeing myself. I'm just too sleepy.

The sun might be out, but it's 9 o'clock somewhere. Good night!

33 Weeks, 6 Days

2009-04-06T19:26:00.003-05:00

Week 33 Belly Picture

I am bursting with baby. Husband thinks my belly is hanging a little lower, which would mean Bella has dropped. I, on the other hand, think Bella is simply getting bigger and is therefore taking up more space overall. I just can't buy into the dropped baby theory when I'm in a nearly constant state of reflux and do not have the ability to take a deep breath.

Those complaints aside, I'm feeling pretty good. I don't have back pain and my hips don't hurt. Yes, I walk slower in a waddle-style, but it's not like I'm on bed rest or anything. So things are OK.

Cravings
My current craving is fruit. I have never found fruit to be so exquisitely delicious as it has been recently. Especially strawberries. OMG, so good. I could eat a container a day. I have been packing an enormous bag of fruit to bring to work to snack on during the day and I'm always surprised when it's gone by 10:30 AM. Then, even more surprisingly, I'm surprised at the gastro-intestinal distress I experience after eating 3-4 servings of fruit in one fell swoop. Is it not amazing the way we continually "surprise" ourselves? Let's blame the baby for my simple minded ways.

I am, however, totally over Raisin Nut Bran. In fact, I hadn't bought it in weeks until I picked up a box today. I had some as a snack. It was OK. Just cereal. No longer magical. Not like...strawberries.

Nursery Update
Husband painted the nursery closet and hung the shelf and hanger rod yesterday and I was able to hang up a few of the wee baby outfits.

Just so you know - the wall isn't stripe-y; it's the reflection from the mirror doors. I need to buy some closet organizers and then we'll be in business. I'm so, SO excited to start properly nesting and putting away all of the gifts.

One thing that is getting in the way of my nesting? Mr. Armoire.

Damn you and your large wooden ways! Husband promises me that this big, unwieldy piece will be moved to the bedroom this weekend thanks to a deal Husband made with a friend to trade manual labor. Hip Hip Hooray! As soon as the armoire is moved, we will be able to move the dresser/changing table into it's final destination. Then the room won't be such a traffic jam.

Finally, we bought a futon cover from Overstock.com for the futon. Call me crazy, but the maroon cover wasn't quite working with the whole pink and green theme.

It's looking really boring, but I think with another set of pillows in a colorful fabric and a bright throw blanket, things will be jazzed up. In a dream world the futon would be out of there. But in the real world we have a small townhome so the futon will stay until moving day...which isn't on the docket until 2012 or something. I'm going to follow the sage advice of Tim Gunn and "make it work."

33 Weeks, 5 Days (Later)

2009-04-05T15:53:00.006-05:00

At the request of a reader, I've decided to include a few photos of the gifts that were made for me. If anything, I can help build these infinitely creative and talented ladies' future Etsy shopping base!

First - take a look at the GORGEOUS knit items my sister made for Bella. They are incredible and I can't fathom the time it took to make them. Each sweater and dress came with matching booties. Bella will be so very fashionable.

Close up of the adorable owl buttons on the sweater and booties. Squeeeee!

Here are the dresses with matching booties.
My Aunt Patty is also a knitter and she made this lovely baby blanket. The colors are perfect with the nursery.

My sister's co-worker and now my friend, Lisa, made these super cute cloth booties. Check out the fabulous fabric!

My co-worker Heather made a custom scrapbook for me. All I have to do is add the pictures. What a fantastic and genius gift!

My Mom put together this picture frame that includes photos of mothers going back five generations on my Mom's side of the family. So for Bella, the picture of the woman in the top left corner is her Great Great Great Great Grandmother. Whew! I have already put together three framed photos of myself, my Mom, and Husband's Mom as babies so this special framed picture will be a great addition to decorate Bella's room.

Finally, my Mom just sent me this picture she took yesterday of me trying out my new Moby sling. Gigantic pregnant belly and lack of reading the instructions resulted in a big FAIL. But one might also argue that the problem is shoving a cat into the sling. Poor Toonses.

33 Weeks, 5 Days

2009-04-05T04:00:00.005-05:00

Yesterday was my baby shower - huzzah! Two good friends hosted and went above and beyond. Theme colors! Homemade (yet oh-so-professional) decorated cookies! Fab food! Optional bib decorating! Clever games! Fanciful decorations! Oh my!

The hostess' with the mostest

Rub the belly for good luck!

Mmm...store-bought cake with tons of frosting. My favorite!

The cookies that stole the show. Just look at them! My friend Audrey's husband helped decorate them. And I believe the help came willingly and voluntarily. I know. That man has mad cookie decorating skillz.

I'm not going to lie - I was nervous about being the center of attention while opening the gifts, but I think I did OK. [And, um, if I did NOT do OK, then how about you don't tell me? REMEMBER THE HORMONES!]

Face expressing joy, not awkwardness or too much double chin-edness.

People were so amazingly generous and thoughtful with the gifts. I have an urge to show you a picture of each and every one, but that would probably (certainly) fall into the category of poor etiquette. I will definitely show pictures of the gifts in action in the months to come (except the breast pads, because that would be...yeah). Anyway, here is a picture of all the loot once we got it home.

The loot!

Husband was overwhelmed. It was as I suspected - he didn't really get the concept of what would happen at a baby shower. We sat down and went through all of it together. Partly to let him experience the fun of opening presents, but mostly because I not-so-secretly just wanted a chance to look through each thing again myself. And I have to boast about Husband for a second. He asked to do the thank-you cards with me so he could personally say thank you to everyone. Awww...that Husband.

Finally, since one must take advantage of cuteness when it occurs, may I present to you the 8.5 months belly. And yes, I am still sporting heels on occasion. You can take the ability to shop in regular stores away from this girl, but you can't take away her heels.

33 Weeks, 3 Days

2009-04-03T03:37:00.002-05:00

It's 3:30 in the morning and I thought, "What a perfect time to blog!" So here I am. [Oh, wait. NO. AM AWAKE AT 3:30 IN THE MORNING AND NEED MY SLEEP! GAH x 10,000.]

My sister is in town for my baby shower on Saturday (yay!) and my Mom will arrive tomorrow. [Oh, hang on. I mean TODAY. BECAUSE IT'S 3:30 IN THE FREAKING MORNING!] Sister, Husband and I had a lovely conversation on Wednesday night about [dun, dun, dun...] pooping during delivery.

You all know about this, right? That sometimes Mama ends up having a #2 mid delivery what with all the pushing and such. I can remember the exact moment I learned about it myself. I was 19 and watching Scrubs with a friend. They mentioned something about the pooping and I was HORRIFIED. I immediately called up Mama MD to confirm (1) if this was in fact the case and (2) if she pooped on me when I was born. The answer was yes to 1 and no to 2. Dude, I was but a mere 19, but I felt very fearful of what was to come.

Fast forward to today. Somehow I'm not that afraid about pooping during delivery. I'm all "Eh, if it happens, it happens" about it. I mean, I'll consider an enema if I'm feeling like I'm going to be at high risk for ze poopy, but otherwise...I'll just go with the flow. WTF! Who am I? Am I not the same girl who refused to poo in Husband's vicinity for several months when we first started dating ("Uh...I just need to run home for 15 minutes, to uh....feed the cats!")? And also - why am I not more concerned about how humiliating it would be to poop during delivery? Maybe I'm just overly confident that my body will take care of business itself prior to going into the pushing stage of birthing? I don't know. I'm really baffled at my lack of over-thinking on this topic.

That's the funny thing about pregnancy. You start to change your mind on things. Water births are another example. I used to throw up a little in my mouth at the couples on A Baby Story that would both be in the tub during a water birth. I thought it was disgusting that the Dad would sit in the birth water full of birthing fluids (blood, placenta bits, what have you) with the Mom. But now...eh, I could see maybe doing a water birth in the future. And having Husband join right in for the fun. Again, WHO AM I?

For the record, Husband did say that if we ever do a water birth, he will ask me to have an enema first. Because the thought of sitting in a tub that may or may not contain POO is simply too much to ask of someone. And that I COMPLETELY agree with. As Husband pointed out - what if you stepped in the poo that was in the tub? Oy. Makes me laugh/gag a bit.

How about you? Any good pooing during delivery stories? Fans of the enema? Fear of the delivery poo (whether pregnant or not)? Do tell!

33 Weeks, 1 Day

2009-04-01T11:49:00.002-05:00

Today is the first day of April. Therefore next month is May. Which means...

I'm having a baby next month.

I'M HAVING A BABY NEXT MONTH!

I'M HAVING A BABY NEXT MONTH!!!

This month, though, I am having a cow. Moo.

32 Weeks, 6 Days

2009-03-30T20:51:00.002-05:00

High time for a hodge-podge post, don't you think?

Item 1:

Week 32 Belly Picture

My belly shape seems to be changing much more dramatically from week to week since I've hit 30 weeks. In fact, it changes from moment to moment as Bella stretches and moves around.

Item 2:
With the bigger belly, I have experienced more soreness in my lower belly region. I think it is the result of the gravitational pull on my relatively unsupported belly. I notice it especially when I'm walking. I was telling my Mom that it is worse after I exercise and I was worried it might keep me from going on longer walks. She pointed out that I would never think to exercise without a sports bra on, so maybe I needed some support for the belly. Genius suggestion, Mama! So now I wear my BellaBand folded a couple of times under my belly when I walk. A bra for my belly, which is not so unlike a gigantic boob.

Item 3:
Did you know mah baby is featured in the produce section?

My baby has mushrooms named after her. She's sooooo special.

Item 4:
I had Husband take a picture of me in my favorite preggy yoga pose. It makes my belly look delightfully HUUUUUUGE.

Item 5:
I don't have any stretch marks (the tiny one Husband saw a few months ago seems to have disappeared). It's not like I've been very diligent with the cocoa butter either. Stretch marks might still be coming or I may just have genetics working in my favor. Time will tell.

Item 6:
I've added a poll to Preggy Blonde! Don't miss your chance to vote on when the baby will come. Exercise your civic rights, and all that.

32 Weeks, 4 Days

2009-03-28T14:02:00.002-05:00

My body image is not so good these days, and, well, that just pisses me off. I can pinpoint the exact moment of it taking a turn for the worse and that was when the midwife gave me the "talk" about gaining too much weight.

Understand that I am not blaming the midwife for expressing her concern about my weight gain. I feel she was acting in a way she felt was best for me as her patient. But in this mixed up crazy world we live in, I am having a hard time erasing the notion of too much weight = fat = bad body image.

And here is where I get pissed. Dude, I KNOW BETTER than to fall into that cyclical and just plain wrong way of thinking. It's a futile thought pattern and I don't want it in my life. I worked hard to improve my body image several years ago and I guess I figured I had "solved" that pesky little problem. It has caught me off guard that these old negative patterns could and would come creeping back in. But, of course, I have a whole new body these days - should I really be so surprised that it has triggered body image issues?

With the old negative thought patterns has come an old behavior. Only today did I become consciously aware that I was doing it. When I look in the mirror, I'm focusing on the parts that I don't like. I look in the mirror and see thicker thighs, swollen ankles, fuller cheeks. I quit seeing the big picture and forgot about the positives. I stopped seeing my cute belly, nice skin, big eyes.

Now, I do realize that I am prone to being overly sensitive these days and that is playing a major role in this (i.e. under normal hormonal circumstances I don't break down in tears over Sonny Bono being dead). But overly sensitive or not, it's what I'm feeling. So what to do? I need to make a conscious effort to redirect my thoughts away from the negative ones about my body. That is how I improved my body image several years ago; that is what I need to do now. And if not for me, I need to do it for my daughter. She needs a Mama that is comfortable with her body and at peace with herself, if only to counter what society and the media will teach her about body image.

So when I look in the mirror I will choose to see my belly and be in awe of it. I will choose to not look at my legs for the time being. I will choose to be positive about my body as I finish out the last two months of my pregnancy. I will not let the insecure voice inside of me determine how I feel in my own skin.

Cause that insecure voice? That voice has generally got it wrong 99% of the time in the past. I'd like to think it has it wrong this time, too.

32 Weeks, 2 Days (Later)

2009-03-26T15:58:00.004-05:00

And now it's time for more...

You know you have big boobs when

Your size XL winter coat from Old Navy is beginning to not want to button at the chest. XL=too tight? Wha?
You bend over to pick something up and your Husband can't help but say, "Whoa" when he gets a gander of your cleavage.
You look down while in downward facing dog and mutter, "Whoa" as you get a gander of your cleavage.
You run into Joey Lawrence and he says "Whoa!" just at the sight of your enormous rack.
You lose a raisin while eating trail mix and later that day find a grape lodged under your right boob. Seriously...I underboob sweat. It's like a third armpit or something.
You look at your old 36C bras and think they look so teeny, almost like training bras.
You lie on your side and your cleavage starts attacking your chin.
You have to lift each boob to clean properly between boob & belly.
You wear bras in a size that is bigger than what is mentioned in rap songs.

32 Weeks, 2 Days

2009-03-26T07:42:00.004-05:00

I have less than 8 weeks to go until my due date. Which means, realistically, I have anywhere from 6-10 weeks until I meet my baby. AH! What felt like so far away is now frighteningly close. [Days left of work, though? That still feels like thousands, even if the actual number is 27.]

I can conceptually understand 8 weeks very well because that is the length of a Hal Higdon 5 or 10K training plan (Husband and I heart Mr. Higdon's training plans, check them out). Anyway, I've followed these 8 week training plans several times over the past few years and I'm always amazed at how fast the 8 weeks goes. Get lazy for what feels like a couple days and before you know it you've lost a week of training.

So in light of the fact that time is indeed passing rapidement, I'm trying to be better about tracking my Hypnobirthing practicing. Practicing involves taking 20-30 minutes to actively work on relaxation (I'm using a few different guided meditations). I've implemented a sticker/calendar system to help me out with this because (1) I'm a 6th grader and (2) it helps me to see exactly how I'm doing at any given time.

Here is my Hypnobirthing practice calendar. I just started tracking last week.

Status: Needs improvement! [I practiced the first two weeks of March, I just didn't track it.]

Here is my exercise calendar.
Status: Meh. In my defense, the first week of March was when I was working the crazy 11-12 hour days and then last week there was a bunch of house work that I didn't track on the calendar. My townhome has 46 stairs, only 6 of which I don't use on a regular basis. So that ends up being a lot of stair climbing on days where you are moving things from floor 2 to the basement. But excuses aside, I need to step it up a bit.

Thank you to sister and brother-in-law for providing the calendar that tracks Hypnobirthing practice. It is WILDLY creepy. Are you ready for this?

The caption says "Exactly four months pregnant and Louise had never felt sexier." Doesn't it make you shudder a little? But in a good way?

Finally, my father, who is staying with us on a business trip this week, just randomly asked me, "How much weight have you gained?" My response, "Too much and that is fine." Does he not know how inappropriate that is to ask!? I fear if I'd told the truth he would have made comments. To which I would have had to say, "Papa, don't preach. I'm in trouble deep. Papa, don't preach. I've been losing sleep. But I've made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby. I'm gonna keep my baby. Whoa-oh."

Or something along those lines, anyway... And I'm definitely going to keep my baby.

32 Weeks

2009-03-24T16:13:00.008-05:00

31 Weeks Belly Picture

I mentioned last week that it seemed my belly was sticking out more. Turns out it wasn't merely a figment of my imagination. Check out Week 30 and Week 31 side by side.

At this point in my pregnancy, I'm down to two pairs of work appropriate pants (and one of them is a not-so-professional stretch corduroy) and one dress. Up until this past week there were two dresses in rotation, but the new & improved pointy belly makes the second dress too short for work. This kind of sucks. I'm not willing to buy anything else because I won't have much need for additional professional maternity clothing during future pregnancies. So I'm stuck with my tiny rotation of work clothes.

This morning the dress was the only option as neither of the work pants were clean. Cold weather meant that I needed to also don some nylons or - BAD WORD ALERT - pantyhose, if you will. I had picked these up at Motherhood Maternity:
Think they are just an innocent pair of nylons? Think again! I went to put them on and OMG I could not for the life of me do it myself. I got one leg on up to my knee and went to do the other leg, but this was proving impossible given the Mr. Rogers style approach to putting on socks and shoes. So I called for Husband's help.

You should have seen the look on his face when he had them on both legs, but the crotch part was still only up to my knees. He asked, "Is it supposed to go all the way up?", followed by "Are you sure you got the right size?". The answer was yes to both questions. The problem was the fact that they are COMPRESSION nylons. These puppies are harder to get on than spanx on a good non-pregnant day. Throw a big old belly in there and you got yourself a problem. Fun times!

31 Weeks, 6 Days

2009-03-23T20:04:00.003-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about catheters recently.

You see, I have to wake up to pee pretty much every single night now, somewhere between the hours of 3 AM and 5 AM. And once I'm up I have a hard time getting myself back to sleep. This is where the catheter could come in very handy.

I could quietly wee from the comfort of the bed. The bag o' wee could serve as a hot water bottle in the bed to keep Husband and I cozy. And I could sleep through the night once more and wake up (relatively) refreshed.

Wait? What's that? You are throwing up in your mouth? But why?

CALM DOWN. I don't really want to cath myself in order to sleep through the night. Nor am I considering Depends®. But I do miss having a bladder that could go up to 12+ hours without needing to pee.

31 Weeks, 5 Days

2009-03-22T18:33:00.002-05:00

My belly seems to have become a lot more sticky-outey this past week. My appearance today was especially reminiscent of the look obtained by shoving a basketball or volleyball under one's t-shirt circa 7th grade.

How lame is my face in this picture? Am I going for a Joey Potter twisty smile? I am no good at self-portrait face. In fact, I'm no good at my face in a lot of pictures and Husband has to coach me to resume a normal looking expression.

Anyway, speaking of Joey Potter, remember when Katie Holmes baby bump got all crazy looking? See it here. What if that is my future?

So our week off from work is coming to an end. And instead of feeling less stressed, I feel equally, if not more, stressed. Wha' happened?

Wha' happened, indeed. I dunno. While we got a decent amount of remodeling/house projects accomplished, we didn't have any good stretch of time to tackle things. There were lots of baby related classes and appointments, in addition to family obligations, personal appointments (dentist...ew) and Husband's school projects. So while there is no longer electrical wires hanging from my bedroom ceiling, it is also not yet painted. And because it's not painted means that we can't move the large armoire from the nursery to the bedroom. Which means that the nursery remains overstuffed with furniture and therefore not functional. Which means....I am having issues. Some tears may have been shed over it. [Not that that is saying much because I also shed tears over the passing of Sonny Bono this morning. Sonny Bono died in the late 90s. I care little to none about Sonny Bono. My pregnancy hormones apparently care very much.]

Oh, I'm sure it will all get done and I'm just being spazzy for spazzy's sake, but my nesting instinct is on HIGH and it sucks not to be able to properly nest. Husband and I are going to sit down and write out what tasks remain to get a good idea of how we'll get it done, but I had really hoped to be nearly ready to go by today.

I will think of this as pre-parenting lesson #542: Adjust your expectations as needed and you'll live a far less pissy existence.

31 Weeks, 1 Day

2009-03-18T11:01:00.002-05:00

I forgot to tell you all that I'm off work this week for Spring Break. Huzzah! No workplace until Monday. And then six weeks left until I'm done working. Of course, in my head I'm all, "OMG...six weeks. That is an eternity and will take for-EVER." I'm a big baby and rather unpleasant inside my head. Very whiny and annoying.

Anyway, the whole point of taking this week off is so that Husband and I can get the house ready for the wee one and allow me to do some serious nesting. We are finishing up the nursery, continuing to organize the house (i.e. shuffling items from room to room in hopes that it will all fit) and also finally completing a remodeling project in our bedroom. Thus far things are going well, but I'm so darn sleepy all the time that it is frustrating when I'm trying to be uber productive. Plus I get stuck in the middle of organization projects because I can't lift heavy things.

One thing I can do is be a little (uh..make that big) domestic goddess. I stopped by a JoAnn's yesterday and picked up materials to make throw pillows to match the nursery colors. I loosely followed these directions. They turned out pretty nice, methinks.

31 Weeks

2009-03-17T19:03:00.003-05:00

30 Week Belly Picture

I think I experienced my first Braxton Hicks contraction last night. Husband was (gently) prodding my belly to say hello to Miss Bella and he commented that the whole thing felt hard. I couldn't really tell that something was going on until I felt it myself, but my entire belly did feel really firm, as though my entire uterus was contracted. So the bod is already practicing for the big day.

Husband and I are working to find a pediatrician. Ack. It's hard to even figure out where to start. We actually had an appointment today to interview one that was recommended to me by a co-worker, but he was unexpectedly not at the office as his twin babies were born four weeks early this past weekend (yay for him...nay for me). He will be out of the office for 8 weeks...which is cutting it pretty close to my due date. I think we'll still try to interview him come May, but in the meantime we are still looking to interview a couple other pediatricians. Anyone know a good pediatrician in Minneapolis?

Now it's time for...The Preggy Symptom of the Day. Today we are dealing with S.O.B. This is the medical abbreviation for shortness of breath. While I don't necessarily feel the baby putting pressure on my lungs, I can tell that I am not able to breath as comfortably as I have in the past. It's not a super distracting feeling, but I do feel like I'm trying to breathe on the top of a mountain. I just can't quite take a deep enough breath. This symptom will probably only get worse until the baby finally drops - which can take place anywhere from 36 weeks to birth. In the meantime, there might be some SOBbing.

30 Weeks, 6 Days

2009-03-16T08:10:00.004-05:00

I am emotionally labile these days (these days = past 7 months). A quick Wikipedia search to find a link to help define that for you non-psychology people tells me that it can also be called "pathological laughter and crying", or - get this - EMOTIONAL INCONTINENCE. Obvs that is a far better description. So let's start over.

I have emotional incontinence these days. I leak emotions unexpectedly, mostly at home, but I'm worried it could happen in public. It takes very little to trigger an episode of uproarious laughter or full out sobbing.

Uproarious Laughter Example
I'm going to take a cue from Husband here and share something not entirely appropriate. The other night I was lying in bed and Husband came into the bedroom after brushing his teeth. I shouted "Do a strip tease!", which, believe you me, is not a precursor to "special couple's time" in our world. So Husband starts shimmying his hips and provocatively taking off his socks and fleece jacket. I could not stop laughing. I was howling with laughter. I laughed so hard that it made Husband start laughing and then he fell down which caused me to bust a gut, as they say. Hoo boy. It was FUNNY. I could have sworn I was drunk - that is how funny it was. I'm going to have him try this again a few months post-partum. I'm sure I'll give a half smile and a pathetic "Ha" to the same routine. Poor Husband will miss being the #1 comedian in my life.

Sobbing...Really? Example
Yesterday we were gathering up our recycling to put out by the curb. Because I am a rule follower and information reader, I knew you had to staple the bag of shredded paper. So Husband is holding the overstuffed bag and I'm pinching it together as best I can to get the staples in. I made a comment that I was nervous I might staple his fingers. On the next staple, Husband startles me when he makes a squeal type noise and says "OW!". Then he gives a coy smile because he's such a funny man. What do I do? I start crying. And then sobbing. Now, I absolutely knew I was being crazy, but there was no stopping it. I have the emotional brain functioning of a three year-old. As in, he scared me so now I'm crying. LAME. I was over it in a minute, but it makes me feel like such a crazy person. Husband and I will not miss this part of pregnancy.

Now if you know me in real life, please don't worry that I will have an episode of emotional incontinence when I'm with you. I can hold it together pretty well in public. I think my closeness to Husband is what makes me feel comfortable enough to be emotionally leaky at home. And if I do get emotionally leaky out in public? Just give me a time out. I hear it works wonders for the 3 year-olds.

30 Weeks, 5 Days

2009-03-15T07:49:00.003-05:00

Yesterday Husband and I attended a breast feeding and baby care basics class. I'm really glad we signed up for it because I learned some things about breast feeding that I didn't know before. Sadly, most of those things were scary (um...the actual nipple getting all stretched out and long when the baby is nursing!?), but useful so that I will be more prepared when my time comes. Prior to this pregnancy, I generally thought that you just breastfed - I didn't understand that it can be tricky. I know now that I will inevitably have sore nipples for a bit, that breast feeding will take up a huge amount of time initially, and that it's not always an easy process getting everything figured out. I hope, I hope, I hope that I don't have any major problems with breastfeeding. I want to be able to so much. It's good to know that if I do encounter any problems there are many resources available to me, both through the hospital and around the city in general.

Husband was very well behaved in the class yesterday and didn't say anything inappropriate. This was not always the case in Hypnobirthing class. I mean, he didn't ever say anything THAT inappropriate, but inappropriate enough to make me twitchy. Like the time he asked if labor felt like when you knew you were going to have diarrhea (answer: no). [Husband's editorial comment: I was trying to understand what the contractions could be compared to so I could attempt to have some perspective while coaching Laura, the only thing I could think of was when you have diarrhea and you can't find a bathroom and you experience that horrible intestinal cramp, some have called it "knife in the butt".] And there was another comment made at last week's class that I can't even repeat to you because it was very TMI and revealing about our "special couple's time", but luckily he said it almost inaudibly at a moment when other people were saying things so I think (desperately hope) it went unnoticed. Anyone else in a relationship like this? Where one of you is extremely comfortable in public and outspoken and the other is more of the twitchy, self-conscious variety? Makes for an interesting and rather exciting pairing sometimes.

Oh, Husband also lifted my shirt in public at a sports tournament for elementary-aged children yesterday because he wanted to show his sister my belly. Granted, I was wearing my over-the-belly pants so it's not like I was exposing skin, but exposing the panel on over-the-belly maternity pants gives me the same feeling that having exposed underwear in school did. VERY EMBARRASSING. Oh, Husband. Good thing I love you so. And too bad there is nothing equivalent that I can do to you to embarrass you for you do not experience that emotion.

Preggy side effect of the day: BOOGERS. A pot of gold that is miraculously replenished every few hours. The plenitude is shocking, people. Hope y'all weren't eating just now. [Husband's editorial comment: While this sounds like Wife enjoys a good bowl of boogers for breakfast each morning like our friend Pooh bear does his honey pot, she's actually just using a bad analogy.] {Wife's comment on Husband's comment - SEE WHAT I MEAN!? He says inappropriate things like "bowl of boogers". GAH!}

30 Weeks, 2 Days (Later)

2009-03-12T22:38:00.003-05:00

You know your boobs are big when...

your Husband's entire head can fit into one cup.

That is all.

30 Weeks, 2 Days

2009-03-12T19:41:00.002-05:00

I was hanging out in my fabulous new chair this evening and decided to pick up one of the pregnancy books that I had set aside a few months ago. For those that don't remember, I had put a couple popular books aside because of their tendency to make me nervous about random diseases and disorders. I figured I could handle it at this point since I'm feeling much more secure with the pregnancy given the fact that I regularly feel the baby move and the 20 week ultrasound revealed nothing but a healthy little fetus.

Yeah, I was wrong. One page into the reading and the stupid book feels the need to inform me that the baby's cord can get a knot in it...which can be very dangerous and there is nothing you can do about it. They also included a picture with an arrow pointing to the knot.

WTF, pregnancy book! WHY? Why include something like that? Is it essential knowledge to have at 30 weeks? I think not.

So no more chances, pregnancy book - you and me are through. That book will be heading to Half Price Books this weekend where it can torture some other poor pregnant soul at half the price. I'll stick to my Pregnancy Journal full of happy, if a bit redundant, tidbits.

30 Weeks, 1 Day

2009-03-11T17:49:00.002-05:00

First of all, OMG I only have 10 weeks until my due date!

I saw a picture of a baby born at 29 weeks yesterday and I was fascinated that it looked just like a regular baby. I mean, I knew that preemies still look like regular babies, but it really brought home the concept that there is an actual functioning baby inside of me right now. No more scary-looking seahorse baby of early first trimester. No. I got me an actual, real baby complete with fingernails. WOW.

Baby further helped me see just how real she is by jamming her fist or foot or some other bony body part into the right side of my stomach for most of the day. Again - real baby. With bones. CAH-RAZY.

Finally, I snissed today. Luckily I was at home at the time and Husband was not around to make fun. Must remember to do kegals!

29 Weeks, 6 Days

2009-03-09T20:58:00.004-05:00

29 Weeks Belly

Baby has been regularly getting the hiccups over the past week or so. It's such a crazy feeling, like a little ticking clock deep inside me. And it's always in a different place - sometimes I feel it on one side of my stomach, sometimes just below my belly button, and other times it's, uh, well, right near my lady bits. Yes, I said lady bits, you got a problem with that?

Last night I was sprawled on the couch and my original baby, Toonses, crawled up on my belly to take a nap. The baby started hiccuping, which gave Toonses a regular jostle, but he didn't seem to mind. I wonder if he thinks I'm repeatedly poking him?

I keep trying to catch the baby's movements on video, but of course she stops immediately after I turn on the camera. She does this every time. Mah baby is a trickster.

29 Weeks, 5 Days

2009-03-08T16:42:00.003-05:00

It was a productive weekend in Preggy Land. Husband and I put together the crib.

We also changed out the wooden drawer pulls on the dresser for some metal knobs to fancy it up a bit.

Before: Wooden Pulls

After: Metal Pulls

Just so you don't think we have some kind of crazy room arranging ideas - the dresser is not in it's final location. We have another weekend of shifting things from one room to another before we can move it. So for now it sits in front of the treadmill. The piles of things behind the treadmill will be moved either tonight or next weekend.

We also have our new, beautiful chair.

The chair will live in our bedroom as our townhome is too small for it to go anywhere else. I LOVE IT! I'm so happy with the color leather we picked out and it's super comfortable. It should be perfect for nursing the baby. So if you are looking for a glider that also reclines and will additionally serve as a nice piece of furniture for many years to come, I highly recommend Dutailier.

Can I give a HUGE shout out to all the men who helped up hoist the furniture up the many flights of narrow stairs? You know who you are and we really appreciated your help. Hurray for having friends!

This weekend we completed our last hypnobirthing class and I am feeling much more prepared to have a natural childbirth. We talked about several ways to naturally induce today, which I found really helpful as I would really like to avoid pitocin or other medical/pharmacological ways to induce (should I even be in a position to need an induction). Now that classes are over, I need to step up my commitment to practicing relaxation.

Another big check off the to-do list was finding a doula. We met with a woman today for an interview and both Husband and I feel comfortable and really positive about working with her. She is both a doula and a massage therapist. Her package includes two pre-natal visits, being present during labor and birth (and shortly after birth), and a post-natal visit. Oh - and a pre-natal massage. How could I forget that bonus bit? I'm really glad that Husband and I will have someone to guide us through the process in a very hands-on manner.

In spite of being so productive this weekend, I'm not feeling like I can do as much as I'd like to. I'm finding my body very cumbersome lately. It's much harder to do housework and everything is taking more effort.

Perhaps the most cumbersome thing of all about being pregnant is the inability to bend over. I'm tired of putting my socks on like Mr. Rogers (i.e. one ankle crossed over the opposite knee). It is not a beautiful day in the neighborhood when I do that. I was awake at 3 AM on Saturday morning and turned on the TV when I found I really couldn't get back to sleep. I mindlessly watched a hoveround infomercial and found myself far too intrigued by the free gift with purchase of a hoveround. The free gift was one of those trash pick-up sticks - the kind that people doing their community service use to pick up trash along the highway. How nice would that be during pregnancy!? No more need to uncomfortably bend over - just use your stick!

I was struck by how dramatic the changes in my body have been when I was looking through old pictures and I came across these two from last June.

I took them when I was soliciting advice via blog on what outfit to wear to a party (read about it here). I feel so removed from my former body. I feel like I can't quite remember what it was to have a waist that serves as a pivot point and allows for a full range of motion. Or what it's like to have boobs that don't require special order bras.

Do you want to see what that belt looks like today?

It's taken on a deranged female Santa look. A Lady Santa who has had one too many servings of milk and cookies, that is.

I realize I have quite a ways to go yet, but I'm beginning to really look forward to getting my old body back (or a reasonably similar version). Preggy bellies are cute, but they are SOOOOOO not practical.

29 Weeks, 3 Days

2009-03-06T18:17:00.003-06:00

I quit my job today! Let me repeat, I QUIT MY JOB TODAY!

Why? Because I'm going to be a stay at home mom. HURRAY!!!

Whew. That is a load off my chest, not only because I was nervous about quitting, but because now I can talk about it freely on here. My boss was completely awesome about it, so it made the experience very pleasant. I gave eight weeks notice, which she appreciated.

While I had some advise me to wait until I was on my maternity leave to quit in order to collect insurance and short term disability benefits, I just couldn't do it. I have been feeling twitchy enough about "lying" about my plans to take 12 weeks of maternity leave. Plus, I wanted to have a clean break and not feel stressed about it. If I was unsure about whether I'd return to work following maternity leave, then I might have opted to do this differently, but Husband and I knew 100% that I would be staying at home.

I should say, too, that I'm feeling so incredibly lucky to be able to do this. There are a lot of moms (and dads) who would love to leave their positions to stay at home, but they cannot do it financially. I also feel odd walking away from a good job during this economic climate, but it's the right decision for our family.

So that's the big reveal I alluded to in this post from January and also the foreshadowing comment I made in the last post. But you had all already figured it out, right?

29 Weeks, 1 Day

2009-03-04T19:12:00.002-06:00

So I've made it through the past few crazy long work days without (1) keeling over or (2) developing a bad cold so that is very good (my body does still seem to be fighting something off, though). What is not so good is that the stress of work has been kicked up several notches this past week, above and beyond all the stress of the events happening.

Luckily, work won't be much of a problem for too much longer. If this post were being analyzed by an A.P. English class, that last sentence would be highlighted and "use of foreshadowing" would be written in the margins. Hint, hint.

Random preggy symptom I've never mentioned before - chapped lips. I've had terribly chapped lips practically since conception. It's weird because it doesn't matter how much water I might consume (9-10 cups each day), they still remain dry to the point of flaking off. Did/does this happen to anyone else?

Last item for today - my appetite has been voracious the past couple of days, especially in the morning. I'm trying to carefully pay attention to see if it's true hunger vs. "oh look! a free muffin!" and it seems like I'm really and truly hungry for a large snack/small meal every couple hours. Maybe baby is in a growth spurt?

28 Weeks, 6 Days

2009-03-02T20:53:00.002-06:00

28 Weeks Belly Picture

As I get further along in my pregnancy, I'm finding people are a lot more willing to share their parenting pearls of wisdom, regardless of whether I'm soliciting it. Some might call it advice. Others of the potty mouth variety might call it assvice. Overall, I've been very lucky to rarely be on the receiving end of assvice, but lately it seems the tides are changing.

One recent example - I was cornered at a party on Friday by a well meaning couple with two kids. At one point in the conversation I was firmly told that I should take my baby for a walk in the winter everyday. I mentioned that I had a treadmill and would be more inclined to try to walk on the treadmill with the baby in a sling strapped to me before braving the elements and the "advice" giver was adamant that I take the baby outside and expose it to frigid winter air. Now, this is mostly a moot point since the baby will be born in May and not January, but this piece of advice had already followed 3 other directives so I was losing patience. I will decide when and if my baby gets exposed to the elements, thankyouverymuch!

Other comments have been made by people skeptical of my ability to follow through with my au natural plans - natural delivery, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, etc. Sigh. Let me at least try first, people!

Finally, there was a negative comment about the baby name. Ooh, I knew I would get at least one, but still. If you don't have something nice to say...

Of course, you have all been lovely on here and I am indebted for both the wisdom that has been imparted and the supportive comments that I've gotten along the way. There has been no assvice online! So keep the comments coming.

In other news, I think I'm coming down with another cold, which is frustrating. It's still just the beginning but I have a terribly busy work week this week (11-12 hour days full of events) so I fear that will be enough of a tipping point to push me into full fledged snot territory. Noooooooo! Anyway, if you don't hear from me for a few days, assume that I'm spending any free second sleeping with my humidfier.